by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jan 10, 2016 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“The only thing that you have that nobody else has is you, your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can”.
Identity and Individuality is your most powerful asset you have because its the source of all that makes you, that give you and your life meaning it defines who you are and its where your uniqueness resides.
life biggest lesson is the lesson of “The loss of Identity”
Loosing your identity is more common than you think and at some point we have all or will experience this confusing thought of how the “hell did I end up here”. I’m sure there has been a time you have lacked the confidence to make a decision and allowed someone else to make it for you and then end up in a scenario that was not one of your choice.
Predominately this loss occurs within the relationships we have in our lives. It could be from any context of a relationship; a Committed Partnership, Family, Social Friendship, Work Relationships etc
The effects can be catastrophic to your life and many people go through life hypnotized and living an illusion in someone else’s expectations.
How would you know you have lost this sacred part of you.
-Maybe you miss feeling independent and lack confidence as a person? or
-Make decisions with someone else’s perspective even when they’re not a contribution.
-Or maybe you feel like you’ve lost that unique personality that use to separate you from the rest and now have lost confidence in your own abilities?
Having your own independence is very important to living a life that you are sure and confident with. It is crucial to any relationship that both couples or groups have their own presence to keep it healthy and lasting. A relationship that is driven by one’s power to control is a lifeless experience and a self awakening is required for change.
I have marked out three ways to assist anyone to establish their own identity that might be feeling lost or unsure as who they are or have become:
- Have Some Time Alone
You can never truly know someone if you don’t know yourself so save yourself many troubles and arguments and get to know more about what makes you happy, and what makes you sad. Feel what you feel and explore your inner peace. Spending more time alone will help you regain your sense of self.
When your alone you can be completely honest with your self. Challenge yourself – write something down, write the things that piss you off in life and in people and see if any of those things resemble in you. Write the things that you want in life, set some goals keep them to yourself if you want.
Identify your hobbies and interest and just do them, set a date and book something in that will commit you to the experience.
- Make new friends
Making new friends will give you the confidence in knowing that you have your own independence and it will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. Join a social group or a sports team and connect with people on different levels that you are interested in and let go of all expectations. Have fun laugh about things that you wouldn’t usually with others. Meeting new people will show that you are still capable of being the person you used to be the “good parts”.
- Trust Yourself
Don’t be so dependant on people and there is no need to revolve your whole life around other people. You don’t have to tell your partner everything, create a relationship that is free and based on trust.
Trust yourself enough to take risks, you will always come out in front by following your own gut feeling. Tap into your intuition and trust it. Make small decisions and acknowledge them and overtime you will get more confident at making the big decisions.
Bounce back if you have experienced a toxic relationship and if you are in one then make some changes in your life, get out of the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life, take control and reclaim your independence.
Power is in the paradox – By getting lost you will find yourself and live with identity and purpose.
Peace and Love – Your Coach
Michael Sorgiovanni
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Nov 22, 2015 | Anxiety, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Quotes, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“You are born alone, and you die alone”
As confronting as the above quote might be, it actually is the truth. You were born into this world a beautiful soul and humanised into the body you now reside in. A spiritual being with a purpose to have a human experience of individuality.
In current times, If there were to be a reason why so many relationships end and mental and physical illness is on the rise, It would be from humanities biggest form of abuse over the previous centuries.
“The Neglected Self”
Humans have abused theirselves for too many years by neglecting the one true thing they came into this world with.
“Thyself”
We live in a time where it is common to search for love to be loved, people expect good health with bad health choices, and people seek a positive life with negative ways. ~ Conflict at its best!
“The is no greater power on this earth than self love, “.
The solution….
If you love yourself others can love you, and love is something you chose to give to others, it is not a need nor a requirement. The only “must” is the love you give yourself because is sets the foundation of your whole life, to how you think, how you feel, how your treated in this beautiful world we live in.
When you love yourself you will…
1. Respect your body – educate yourself on food and exercise and give your body what it requires.
2. Respect your Mind – Expand your consciousness, develop emotional intelligence and do what is required to think positive, feel and live positive.
3. Connect – seek truth in all things that make you happy, respect the earth and all its creatures, fill your soul with joy. Remember how to breath and tune into the world of absolute.
~The world can only change when you do~
If I were to ask you how your day begins and how does it ends? What would you say?
Peace and Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Sep 27, 2015 | Anxiety, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Uncategorized
In the past 15 years I have invested in transforming my life and studied various forms of self-improvement modalities, and if there were to be something profound and simple that I could take from all of the years and lessons and share it in an article it would be the topic of being present.
What does being present mean to you?
I think firstly experiencing and understanding what not being present would assist and benefit you in really knowing what being present in life actually is.
Ok so here’s a short spill:
Our “System” is designed in such a way to condition and program an individual to think and live in the future and past but to not to stay in the present.
One of the reason’s anxiety and depression are on an all time high is because the lack of truthful education provided to people. We live in a time where diagnosis and prescription are the answer for people’s issues and all preventatives and solutions are a form of holistic practice or something that is deemed as uncommon to real life.
We are amazing creative multi dimensional beings and are not designed to be medicated and imprisoned. We are here to experience life and experiment with it to grow and evolve into self-loving manifesting people.
One of the greatest positive changes you can make it to start thinking outside the box. This term is used a great deal in many areas, for this purpose, practice it in the context of your life and journey as a whole and the true answers will just suddenly appear to assist.
If you follow these 3 things I guarantee that the world you see will change profoundly.
-
Gratitude Journal
Create a gratitude journal. Write three entries in it every morning of things that you are grateful for in you life. Most of us wake up every morning thinking and trying to plan the day out and sometimes overwhelm ourselves with thoughts and this sets our whole mood and energy for the day. If you start your day off with a positive mindset it will reflect through out the course of the day.
Your brain has been programmed to think a certain way and the only way to change the program is through reputation. Three things you are grateful for everyday for the rest of your life!
If you are grateful for life then you are living in the present. The majority of our society is living in the future, putting expectations on life and in their minds creating events that haven’t taken place yet that causes anxiety. Anxiety in most common cases is merely a person experiencing an event in the future, that hasn’t even taken place yet. It has become a form of normal thinking that most people have no clue on what they are actually anxious about anymore.
If you do your research you will find that the most happy and successful people in the world have a gratitude ritual that they do everyday.
-
Stop watching the daily news.
Think about this just for a minute.
Your Brain/Neurology is designed to be programmed by the environment and information you feed it, and then to create the paradigm that you live in and experience everyday.
If your are watching a box that delivers nothing but negative stories and experiences from around the world then your perspective on the world is gong to be a negative one. There is so many miracles and positive things happening everyday, you just have to open to seeing them. If you are always focussing on the negative you are not allowing yourself fully to be open to the positive that is all around you. If you are concerned about missing the news, reality is stories that are important will always find their way to you through socialising or some other form of social media platform.
As impossible as this might seem to some of you reading this, if you were to give up watching the news every night It is guaranteed that how you see the world will change significantly in a short period.
-
Take Responsibility for the way you feel.
The easiest thing you can do is blame someone for the way they made you feel.
It is impossible for someone to make you feel a certain way because they are your emotions that you are feeling not someone else’s. Take responsibility for your own emotions, every experience you have in life whether it be negative or positive there is something important to learn form it. If there is something you don’t like in someone than it is only a reflection on something you don’t like in yourself because how else would you know you didn’t like if it wasn’t presented to you.
Treat life as a school the more you learn the more you excel.
When you take responsibility for your own feelings and actions it is where the healing begins and as you acknowledge these qualities and behaviours in yourself you begin to shift, change and grow as a person and the experiences you have with people change to more positive ones.
There is beauty in everything and everyone and the way to see it all is to see it in you first.
“Clear the Clutter and Be Present”
Enjoy, I intend that this has a profound and positive impact in your daily life.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Aug 23, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing
We are our daily Rituals!
I firmly believe in this statement to be true. Every week I give my clients small goals to accomplish within the week or fortnight and it is amazing that how the change occurs in different aspects of their lives then to what context the tasking is.
I’ll explain….
Have you ever had negative thoughts?
Have you had an experience when you have dwelled into the negative thoughts so much that 5 minutes later you thought to yourself “I feel like absolute crap”. Your whole body just felt like jelly, you were completely exhausted, and sometimes it seems so impossible to get back to where you were, unless you just ’relax’. Has this happened?
I would not be able to count how many times I have done this to myself through the years.
Lets flip the coin for a minute.
Have you ever had a workout at the gym or gone for a walk and felt so amazing and energized for the whole day? One of those workouts that you absolutely busted out in a sweat and later everything just seemed so brighter and louder, and as your blood pumped intensely through your whole body your mind was so calm and focused.
Can you see the paradox here?
It has been proven in studies that physical exercising has a positive effect on brain function, ranging from molecular to behavioural level. Even exercising for as little as 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions according to a study done by the university of Georgia (usa).
The mind and body work as one. There are billions and billions of neurons of the brain that form the main control centre of the body. The brain and spinal cord together form the central nervous system where information is processed and responses originate. Theses connections branch out through your entire body.
Another really amazing effect exercising has is it stimulates growth of new connections between cells in the brain. Meaning it makes it easier for the brain to grow new neuronal connections.
Our brain makes new neuronal connections to store all the successful positive changes we make in our lives. If we didn’t make room to store these changes then we wouldn’t grow and develop, we would just continue in so called Groundhog Day.
One of the most important rituals you should have in life is exercising as it raises your life’s vitality!
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Aug 9, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Uncategorized
There’s a trend to blame, we see people play the blame game everyday whether it’s our friends, family or work colleagues. Blaming something/someone for the way they are feeling, for their financial situation, for being unhealthy or an unfulfilling career, which in most cases it does not seem to be the individual’s fault.
Now this is an unfortunate mindset that we have all been taught at a young age, through the media, religions our school’s, families, and the list’s go on. Does this excuse us from what is happening in our lives, seeming that it wasn’t our fault?
No… it doesn’t and ill explain why…. Finding an excuse as to why our lives aren’t the way we want them is just another way of finding a reason to let you off the hook from taking responsibility and directing your energy to some external person/situation/physical object. I must admit I’ve been here countless times growing up and if anyone believes they haven’t been here their just lying to themselves.
Reason as to why we don’t get what we want in life is because if we have been living on the effect side (reasons) of life as apposed to living on the cause side (results) and getting what you want.
Believe it or not most the world are predominantly on the effect side of the equation, I mean just an example, if you look at our media system it refers to constant negativity that is providing people with excuses why they shouldn’t do something in life.
If you continue to live on the effect side you will continue to be faced with reasons/excuses for where you are, governed by a way of thinking that blocks off your creativity and narrows your choices and freedom. It’s time to make a change and to shift this way of thinking.
Imagine this…If you were to consistently take responsibility for your state of affairs and be on the cause side, knowing that its no one else’s fault. Taking responsibility for your past, present and future, what can that do for you? How would that change the way you act in life?
It would be empowering; you would take back your power in life to change your health, relationship, or career. Knowing that all the limitations you have are yours and therefore you can work on releasing them to achieve what it is you desire.
This statement “C>E”. Cause and effect: the two sides we can be living on in life. A cause causes a certain effect, if I am punishing myself for getting something wrong all day it may cause the effect of depression.
The cause side of the equation is where a person is responsible for their actions and is achieving results, and then a person on the effects side is usually the person finding reasons and excuses in things.
Cause > Effect
Responsibility (Results) v Reasons (Excuses)
= Empowerment
If you choose to move to the cause side of the equation it will be an empowering experience, it will give you power to change any area of your life, it puts you back in control of your destiny and you wont except anything less than what you want and deserve.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jul 26, 2015 | Anxiety, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills
Life can be this vicious journey that can provide experiences that appear unfair to the average person and I’m sure everyone reading this has had several events in their life that has left some kind of painful event to remember.
These experiences usually take place in our relationships and whether it be a loving relationhsip, friendship or family it is some kind of relationship. There is one common outcome to all these these experiences and it is that one relationship is left with the pain and the emotions to deal with. That relationship is with yourself.
Something happens on an emotional and neurological level when we experience a traumatic event, it creates a seperation.
Our emotional experiences throughout life, and especially during the early imprint years can result in the creation of Parts at the unconscious mind. These Parts generate their own values and beliefs, and are responsible for certain behaviour’s. Overwhelming feelings and reactions, as well as out of control behaviour’s are the result of ‘Conflicting Parts’.
There is a very successful modality called parts intergration I use for these conflicts and it is a useful skill to overcome ‘bad habits’, indecision, procrastination and all sorts of internal conflicts. What it does is bring the part back home to wholeness where it first was before these emotional experiences. All this can be avoided for the future if we create a relationship with ourselves once again.
The relationship that we truly have is with ourselves. Regardless of what stage of life you are one, you experience growth at every step and allow experiences to happen along the way giving you potent life lessons. Have you ever experienced that moment when your inner voice criticizes you for being a size too much and also some time you hear a part of you saying that you are absolutely amazing! This is just a small example of how divided (Part) we are within ourselves.
There are things that we consider as very good and others that we consider bad. Acting without a shred of reflection has the ability to unfurl your Karma that would seem random at best. You always have the power to respond, but if you have the internal awareness then you can prevent a reaction too.
To have the ability to acknowledge that everything has positive and negative aspects and that they all come from within induces a sense of calm. If you see something you don’t like, accept it as a part of life and don’t fight it. If you can remain unaffected by negativity, you will be able to rise above it and do the same for positivity too.
Wholeness is about homeostasis, a state of constant balance within you and the effort to make it so. Sometime we get too excited and soon after experience the state of lowest low. This is what happens when you play with your inner balance. It can be very uplifting when you learn to be calm and composed. It may be perceived by others as numb, but it is a far cry from it!
Here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship with self and become one complete person.
- Stop Judging: If you can learn to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, rest assured that you are prepared to walk a lifetime in your own! You should have a natural ability to see and appreciate beauty amid flaws. It will not be easy to look past the imperfections but when you do, you will know how to value yourself.
- Care less: No, I am not asking you to be self centered who doesn’t care about the world, but I also don’t want you to lose yourself in caring too much. This is what I call as restoring balance to your mind and heart. Compassion must stem from within and you should know when to say no. This will only happen when you respect yourself enough to hold your own.
- Don’t undermine your self-worth: Don’t be a second choice to someone, don’t settle for less than you deserve. Love yourself enough to have the courage to accept the things that do not weaken your value in your own eyes.
- Learn to let go: we hear this a lot, let go this and that. But, what does it really mean? Simply put, it means no strings attached and this is no glorified phrase. To let go is the power to not hold on to things even though when you clearly know how it debilitating it is. If it is not good enough, have the strength to walk away.
- Be forgiving: forgiveness is just as much of consequence to others as it is to you. Life starts from where you end resentment and fear. Someone hurt you yesterday are no reason to hate the world for the rest of your life. Free yourself from your self-imposed prison of grudges and hard feelings. You need to forgive to free you.
- Always see glass half full: Ever felt delusional with pain that it took the better part of your rationality? Has bitterness of years slowly chipped away your sweetness? It doesn’t matter what others think but you know in your heart that this world is not entirely a lost cause, that there is still beauty in it. By changing your thoughts, you can alter the reality, so why not make it fine-looking and positive?
- Always walk straight ahead: To move on does not mean to forget, it just means that you are in acceptance of what happened in the past and you choose to live in the present. It surely doesn’t mean giving up. It means that you pick happiness over misery and are willing to give yourself another chance to set the scale right.
Wholeness is all about harmonizing your mind, body and soul. It is about living your life in such a way that all the aspects of your life become intertwined with one another through coordination. When you are whole, it means that you are never regretful of the choices that you made, even if these choices alter your external reality. A person who is whole will understand this and will be able to make the best choices.
Life is to be lived through your own eyes not your inner conflicts, behaviours and habbits, Only you know when it is time for you to clear all that is holding you back from shining.
Have a wonderful day
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
Recent Comments