Your Brain’s Response To Stress!
Are you someone that lives in stress?
Are you someone that lives for stress?
Do you know specifically what stresses you out in life?
Three-fourths of the human population undergo stress in varying levels in a 2-week period. The working population is particularly subject to emotional, physical, and mental stress.
These figures are rising each year and It is important for us to have the knowledge of what stress is and also some simple strategies to resolve it when we get overwhelmed.
What is stress?
Stress is a feeling that’s created when we react to particular events. It’s the body’s way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness.
The events that trigger stress are called stressors, and they cover a whole range of situations – everything from outright physical danger to making a public presentation or taking a semester’s worth of your toughest subject.
Stress and the way we think?
Generally in a so-called normal working life, much of our stress is subtle and occurs without obvious threat to survival. Most comes from things like work overload, conflicting priorities, inconsistent values, over-challenging deadlines, conflict with co-workers, unpleasant environments and having unrealistic expectations and so on. Not only do these reduce our performance as we divert mental effort into handling them, they can also cause a great deal of unhappiness.
What is the effect of stress and what the process looks like in your body?
The best way to envision the effect of stress is to imagine yourself in a challenging situation, such as being chased by a lion.
In response to seeing the lion, a part of the brain called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) system is activated.
Steroid Hormones Release! The HPA systems trigger the production and release of steroid hormones ( glucocorticoids), including the primary stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol is very important in arranging systems throughout the body (including the heart, lungs, circulation, metabolism, immune systems, and skin) to deal quickly with the lion.
Catecholamine’s Release! The HPA system also releases certain neurotransmitters particularly those known as dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine (also called adrenaline).
Stress is a permanent feature of our lives, and across the world in many contexts of life it seems to heighten, whether it is at work, in our relationships, social and with finances.
This means so many people are spending way too much time in fight or flight mode. And it’s taking a toll on our bodies through weakened immune systems, high blood pressure, and heart disease. These conditions shorten our lives and lower the quality of what’s left.
There are lots of strategies for managing stress, but when stress blindsides us with no time to prepare, we don’t need a strategy. We need quick, practical steps that work fast and can be done anywhere. When you next experience an outburst of stress, try one of these: Breathe deeply and Observe.
Breathe Deeply
Breathing deeply could be the single most effective way to stay calm, and most people don’t do it when they need to. Everyone breathes, but a lot of us breathe the wrong way–shallow, fast, and high in the chest. This kind of breathing is restrictive, it increases our anxious feelings, and it fuels our body’s negative stress reactions.
Slow, deep breathing triggers a relaxation response, calming the body and focusing the mind. It increases the amount of oxygen in our blood.
Are you breathing the right way? To find out, try this: put one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen just below your rib cage. Now breathe. Which hand moves? If it’s the hand on your chest, your breathing is too shallow.
The trick is to make the hand on your abdomen move. Inhale deeply while you slowly count to five. Try to get your abdomen to expand instead of your chest. If you have trouble making it happen, try it lying on your back. With a little practice and patience, you’ll be able to shift into a deep breathing pattern automatically.
Observe
We get emotional from being emotional, meaning that when we are feeling stressed or emotional and we are thinking of ourselves being emotional, we hold ourselves there.
“When we are emotional and we try not to be emotional we get more emotional”.
A very powerful technique is to just observe and tune into what is happening in your body. If you were to tune in, scan your whole body and breath at the same time the stress and emotions will shift. Because when you allow yourself to feel and not reject it, you let go.
If you are stressed than just stop and ask yourself where am I feeling this stress and find it in your body and acknowledge it, Then continue and ask the question again. In a matter of minutes you will feel calmer because you focus is on you just being,or you could even scan your whole body from feet up and in seconds you will see an effect. Instead of having an expectation to be a certain way like stressed you can just be.
They are two little simple tips to relieve stress when it appears, hope you enjoyed the read.
Michael
The Law Of Correspondence: As within, So without.
If your life is not the way you want it? Blaming the people around you or your circumstances might be keeping you exactly where you don’t want to be. Look inside and know that you and you alone have created your reality!
We are all governed by a set of universal laws and principles and when we are not in line with these laws, nature will have a way of letting you know.
This week I am going to be sharing some information on:
The Law of Correspondence
The Law of Correspondence tells us that our outer world is nothing more than a reflection of our inner world – as within, so without.
This is an extraordinary principle and really says that our current reality is a mirror of what is going on inside us. If our outer reality is unhappy, chaotic or unfulfilling it is a direct result of what is happening inside us. If we have low self-esteem, feel badly about ourselves or constantly feel anger, hatred or loathing, then our outer world will be a place of chaos, just to show you what you are projecting.
The truly sad thing is that it becomes a self-perpetuating situation and we feel bad about ourselves and our outer world is unhappy. The worse the outer world becomes, the worse we then feel about ourselves, which has a direct impact on our reality. To escape from this trap, it is critical to shift your paradigm.
Nothing in our outer lives can change without first making changes on the inside. In fact, the basis for all self-help is exchanged from the inside out!
“All transformation is an inside job” -Mitch Behan
It does not matter one bit what we change on the outside, if we haven’t done the work to change on the inside. Our reality will continue to evolve so that it is a reflection of our inner beliefs and world.
In all cases, our outer world reflects our inner world in every way, shape and form. If we desire change in our outer world, we must first change our inner world and our thoughts, beliefs and attitudes. Stated another way, our current situation is a direct result of the way we think. If we want to shift our paradigm, then we must change the way we think!
One of my favourite quotes is from Wayne Dyer:
“when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change”
This quote is the basis of my work and I am not empowering positive thinking but what I mean with this reference is, our unconscious lop sided perceptions are the cause this chaos happening in our lives.
We have total and complete control over only one thing in life, our thinking. It is not until we change our thought patterns to focus on what it is we truly desire, that we can effect meaningful and lasting change. This is difficult for most people to accept, as blaming others for the things that are wrong in our lives has become common practice. Lets face it, it is much easier on our egos to blame someone else for what is wrong in our lives, than it is to accept the responsibility!
The truly wonderful thing is that by taking control of our minds and thinking, we take control over all other aspects of our life. This is the key to personal fulfilment and balance! By focusing specifically on what it is that we truly desire, and by eliminating all thoughts of what we don’t want, we can begin to shape, mould and build our lives to our own specifications!
Here are some strategies on what you can do to make a change
These are three things that you can start doing immediately that will help you to begin to build the life you desire:
1. Take a hard and objective look at your current reality – career, relationships, health and financial situation. Ask yourself the question: How are my inner thoughts and attitudes being reflected in my outer world? If you have someone that you don’t like and they display a behaviour that just gets on your nerves: Ask yourself where do I do that behaviour in my life and haven’t owned it about myself. All humans have the same behaviours and traits and the ones that trigger us in other people are merely the suppressed ones that we haven’t owned and accepted.
2. Take full responsibility for whatever is happening in your life, be it good or bad. Begin today by making the choice to change your thinking. When you blame you are empowereing someone or something else in life and leaving out the most important person…You!
3. Begin to visualize the world that you truly desire and focus your thoughts on this. Ask yourself the question: In order to achieve this outer world, what changes will I need to make internally? Whatever the required changes, take action today to start making them, if you have trouble get some help! You are not here to just exist.
Understanding the Law of Correspondence is the first step towards taking control of your life. If you want positive change, look inside first and remember:
Change the quality of your thoughts and you will change the quality of your life!
Love and Live
Michael
Don’t discourage yourself about being single while social distancing. There may be a lot more you can take advantage of than you think…
Wanting to mingle but unable to because you’re single – is what most single people are saying amidst the coronavirus outbreak.
We are in a time right now where physical dating cannot take place. This for the singles wanting to date means that it must be placed on a temporary hold. There is a lot of uncertainty at the moment with not knowing what is going to happen and extra financial pressures. We can expect a rise in feelings of loneliness in this period.
The dating apps may seem pointless right now and it may be challenging to be optimistic when you have had such a social life. You may not even feel comfortable or excited to ‘date’ any other way right now. With all that being said it is still no reason to discourage yourself for being single and here is why…
Prior to this pandemic happening, the dating world had become so fast-paced. It was around 2018 where swiping became more of a priority than dating or getting to know someone. Now don’t get me wrong the swipe apps are an amazing addition as for too long online dating platforms weren’t performing. Filled with many lost, disheartening experiences as people weren’t following through to meet in person. Instead, pre-framed scripted messages took over the desire to physically meet.
With our current situation, the pressure to move from ‘match’ to ‘meet-up’ has eased. We are in a time right now to form connections or better yet a connection with someone special. There are so many great opportunities right now in the world of dating.
Answer me this question… do you think your dating game would be easier if the guys with the one night hook up intention were filtered out or better yet even pushed to open up and show their real side?
There was an amazing love story that happened in the middle of these crazy times. Two people improvised while being quarantined – Love Story During A Pandemic
In all this of, this is key to understand… people are being more open than ever.
If you’ve ever wanted deeper connections, to go beyond ‘the walls’ and the ‘crap’ you have been challenged with in the past – now is the best time to make it happen.
Through history some of the deepest and raw connections have been formed in times of war, pandemic and isolation with heart opened letters, phones calls and text messages. We are fortunate to live in a time that we have many little ‘ice breakers’ to get chatting with someone and even have a virtual date.
Here are some points to consider in this period…
We are all in this together – whether you are single or in a relationship, we are all going through something. These times can bring the most pressure to relationships, with so many people losing their job and feeling the financial impacts of running a household with no wages. Others have completely lost their businesses or have taken a significant hit. The whole world has paused, but we have paused together.
Remember…
When the outer world caves in, our inner world has a way of coming out.
What’s your one thing? Each person has one (or more) thing(s) they are going through a right now and they don’t have a choice but to work through it.
Some people have had their relationships and dating on a back burner and now it is in their face. Some people have had some mental challenges and have not wanted to look at them however this period is bringing it up. For others, it may be financial patterns or business struggles etc.
The point I am getting at is that this can be a period where you just watch Netflix and binge eat away or you could ask yourself when this is over how do I want to come out the other end? How can I use this time to my advantage? What can I work on in myself? Is there something you have always wanted to do but couldn’t because you didn’t have the time? What would you like your life to be like once this is over?
Connections – it may be a time to push aside the shy girl to create and strengthen some connections. Reach out to people you know, get on a video call and have some fun discussions. Crack open a bottle of wine or even just check-in to see if someone is ok.
Dating – in the near future FaceTime dating will become a standard thing (as an option of course). There are many benefits to having a virtual date. So many platforms now on Messenger and FaceTime have games you can play as you interact.
This could be a new and adventurous thing for many people that have not tried online dating. No need to waste money on buying a new outfit or expensive makeup.
It is safe and can happen in the comfort of your own home.
You can leave when you want and do not need to drive home.
You can gauge easily if they do not fit with your standards, for example someone that may try to break the social distancing at first may not be someone you want to continue with.
You don’t have to worry about physical intimacy expectations, although this may have some negatives it has powerful positives if you want to create a long-term lasting relationship.
“Relationships are formed over time, not in one setting or experience”
Things to do on your online date:
1.Voice call/video call or voice messaging
2. Play a game – most apps like ‘Messenger’, ‘FaceTime’ and ‘Houseparty’ have joint games to play. This could be a great ice-breaker.
3.Have a drink or meal together – buy the same wine and share a glass over video chat, you could also cook together on video.
4. Watch a movie together – have a planned movie to watch together and talk about it as though you were in each other’s company.
5. Get to know each other on a deep level – play a game that involves some deep questions.
If you live alone and happen to be single right now, know that you’re not alone we are all in this together. Use the time to get to know a couple of matches, you never know it could be the relationship you’ve always been waiting for.
Stay safe!
Love and live,
Michael
Is Your Online Dating Profile Outdated and Effecting Your Results?
If you take the time to think about what’s going into your profile, you’ll create something that other people will want to read.
So many people put the least amount of energy into this but have the highest performance expectations of their dating profile.
A carefully planned, well-written profile can get you lots of responses, where a couldn’t be bothered, careless one won’t. Many people who have trouble with online dating can trace their difficulties back to a poor profile.
You don’t have to be a prize-winning author or a celebrity to get a date.
Writing a profile is an art and you want it to be an expression of the best you. Your profile needs to be very catchy, it must also reflect your personality in the first place. Your profile should arouse temptation for other people to look at your profile and have the interest to contact you. That’s why you are on an online dating site, right?
Here are 7 tips to get your profile more genuine and attractive:
Picture Positive
Since your profile reflects your personality, you must be careful while creating it. It must reflect the positive side of your personality. Nobody likes a negative nancy at the best of times, so don’t share the negative shades in you.
Make it exciting
Why should someone take an interest in you if you do not sound exciting? This does mean you have to be an extrovert, it means you have to show your excitement towards what you like. You can create a list of your interests and hobbies. Be specific, not too long and refrain from using overused words and phrases. Mention interests which you think would be exciting to the opposite sex. Remember, simple and boring profiles are over-looked many times.
Be Real
Make your profile one that a person wants to learn more about you because you seem genuine and real. Stay away from robotic and false information because it can minimise your chances of getting good responses. If you mention facts about yourself, be genuine in disclosing them.
Honesty is the best policy
While filling up the columns for your personal habits and marital status, be honest in disclosing about your height, body type, smoking and drinking habits, and marital status. And be honest on what you are looking for out of a match, are you looking for marriage, kids or a partner. This will filter out the time-wasters.
Give a little humour
This is not an invitation for the comedians to go haywire all over the profile. Most people have humour as a quality they are searching for in a partner. You can make it simple by adding in a self-deprecating line, telling a joke or even adding a song title into your description. Including a bit of humour in your profile can go a long way to grab someone’s attention.
Upload quality photos
I have said this many times to my clients if you take the emotion and judgement out of this phrase “you are essentially selling yourself on the first sight”. We are very visual orientated beings so the importance of having great profile photos can improve your chances by 15 times for getting responses quickly than those without. It is a fact that people prefer to read profiles having great photos and contact them.
For the online dating sites that allow you to post more than one photo, there is a sweet spot in between 3 and 5. No less than 3 and no more than 5. Make sure they are good quality and remember you are selling. My suggestions for what seems to be getting the best results. 1. Face shot good quality maybe professional if you have one, note: avoid selfies. 2. Have a travel shot or an adventure shot. 3. Have a fully clothed body shot. 4. Pick a fun one or another one from the first 3 suggestions. Keep a lookout as I will have another article on this topic coming soon.
Call to action
A successful profile has a call to action on it, it could have a cheeky message like “there is only so much I can share on a profile so if you want to find out more you should probably ask” or it could be a line about the kind of people you would like to message you. If you are looking to create a real connection then you must be my man so send me a question. I hope you get my point. By doing this is can tend to get them curious.
Hope you enjoyed this article and if you have any questions comment down below.
Love and live
Michael
How To Be More Creative In life!
We live in a very fast paced society; we want to get things faster, we want things to happen quicker and most people seem to be doing their best just to get through the day. Getting through the day’s stress is becoming an achievement.
There is a big question that most people ask themselves and it is “could I be getting more out of life than what I am getting right now”? The answer is yes for every person.
We are not just designed to live in stress everyday and when we are in stress and in survival mode, we are cutting off our largest and most important aspect of ourselves – “our creative centre”
What separates us humans from other species on earth is our ability to create, but most people are living in survival mode everyday.
Here are some ways in how you can improve the quality of life by awaking your creative side:
Empower Creativity
Empower your creative side and you will get more creativity. We all get those amazing thoughts through the day that inspire us, it could be an amazing idea and as quick as we get those thoughts we can forget them. Our average attention span is anywhere between 5 to 8 seconds so in those moments if we are not taking action on those thoughts they can just become like dust being blown away with the wind.
In those moments if we were to write those thoughts down and give them more attention journal them (create an idea journal), we will start to program our brain to pay more attention to them when they come up, in this process we are activating the creative centre of our brain.
Empowering these thoughts more often means that when you look for them they will be more accessible for you.
Sometimes the environment plays a big part to where you want to think, you can apply this in your love life or even in business. Find a place where you can allow yourself to be creative – this could be a park, the beach or going for a walk. The goal is to do something different than what you have done in the past to get a different experience in your thoughts and in physical form. Get your brain out of the places you have so much conflict, balance is key.
Train your brain to be more creative
To dramatically increase your creativity, develop creative habits of mind. If you watch a good comedian, you’ll see that they have trained their mind to look for the “different angle” on everyday things. Why not train your mind to do the same?
Start challenging assumptions, for example, until it becomes habit. If you’re looking for ways to get more customers, stop and say, “Do I really need more customers?” It’s a question that suggests other creative solutions, like finding ways to make more money off existing customers, or ways to cut expenses. It could lead to more profitable ideas. Challenging assumptions are a great way to have more creativity in your own problem solving.
While you are doing something that is a usual action for you, for example taking a daily walk, randomly choose anything you see and ask what it can teach you about whatever problem you are working on. For example, you are wanting to create more shade over an area in your backyard. One day you are taking a walk and you become creatively triggered by the shape of a particular tree and how that shape allows it to create a greater area of shade.
These two techniques are called “Assumption Challenging” and “Random Presentation,” and are classic creative problem solving techniques. There are dozens more. If you train your brain to habitually use these or other techniques, and provide it with a little encouragement, you really can have more creativity.
Love and Live
Michael
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