“The only thing that you have that nobody else has is you, your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can”.

Identity and Individuality is your most powerful asset you have because its the source of all that makes you, that give you and your life meaning it defines who you are and its where your uniqueness resides.


life biggest lesson is the lesson of “The loss of Identity”


Loosing your identity is more common than you think and at some point we have all or will experience this confusing thought of how the “hell did I end up here”. I’m sure there has been a time you have lacked the confidence to make a decision and allowed someone else to make it for you and then end up in a scenario that was not one of your choice.


Predominately this loss occurs within the relationships we have in our lives. It could be from any context of a relationship; a Committed Partnership, Family, Social Friendship, Work Relationships etc


The effects can be catastrophic to your life and many people go through life hypnotized and living an illusion in someone else’s expectations.


How would you know you have lost this sacred part of you.

-Maybe you miss feeling independent and lack confidence as a person? or

-Make decisions with someone else’s perspective even when they’re not a contribution.

-Or maybe you feel like you’ve lost that unique personality that use to separate you from the rest and now have lost confidence in your own abilities?


Having your own independence is very important to living a life that you are sure and confident with. It is crucial to any relationship that both couples or groups have their own presence to keep it healthy and lasting. A relationship that is driven by one’s power to control is a lifeless experience and a self awakening is required for change.


I have marked out three ways to assist anyone to establish their own identity that might be feeling lost or unsure as who they are or have become:


  1. Have Some Time Alone


You can never truly know someone if you don’t know yourself so save yourself many troubles and arguments and get to know more about what makes you happy, and what makes you sad. Feel what you feel and explore your inner peace. Spending more time alone will help you regain your sense of self.

When your alone you can be completely honest with your self. Challenge yourself – write something down, write the things that piss you off in life and in people and see if any of those things resemble in you. Write the things that you want in life, set some goals keep them to yourself if you want.

Identify your hobbies and interest and just do them, set a date and book something in that will commit you to the experience.


  1. Make new friends


Making new friends will give you the confidence in knowing that you have your own independence and it will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. Join a social group or a sports team and connect with people on different levels that you are interested in and let go of all expectations. Have fun laugh about things that you wouldn’t usually with others. Meeting new people will show that you are still capable of being the person you used to be the “good parts”.


  1. Trust Yourself


Don’t be so dependant on people and there is no need to revolve your whole life around other people. You don’t have to tell your partner everything, create a relationship that is free and based on trust.

Trust yourself enough to take risks, you will always come out in front by following your own gut feeling. Tap into your intuition and trust it. Make small decisions and acknowledge them and overtime you will get more confident at making the big decisions.

Bounce back if you have experienced a toxic relationship and if you are in one then make some changes in your life, get out of the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life, take control and reclaim your independence.

Power is in the paradox – By getting lost you will find yourself and live with identity and purpose.

Peace and Love – Your Coach

Michael Sorgiovanni