by Michael Sorgiovanni | Sep 27, 2015 | Anxiety, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Uncategorized
In the past 15 years I have invested in transforming my life and studied various forms of self-improvement modalities, and if there were to be something profound and simple that I could take from all of the years and lessons and share it in an article it would be the topic of being present.
What does being present mean to you?
I think firstly experiencing and understanding what not being present would assist and benefit you in really knowing what being present in life actually is.
Ok so here’s a short spill:
Our “System” is designed in such a way to condition and program an individual to think and live in the future and past but to not to stay in the present.
One of the reason’s anxiety and depression are on an all time high is because the lack of truthful education provided to people. We live in a time where diagnosis and prescription are the answer for people’s issues and all preventatives and solutions are a form of holistic practice or something that is deemed as uncommon to real life.
We are amazing creative multi dimensional beings and are not designed to be medicated and imprisoned. We are here to experience life and experiment with it to grow and evolve into self-loving manifesting people.
One of the greatest positive changes you can make it to start thinking outside the box. This term is used a great deal in many areas, for this purpose, practice it in the context of your life and journey as a whole and the true answers will just suddenly appear to assist.
If you follow these 3 things I guarantee that the world you see will change profoundly.
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Gratitude Journal
Create a gratitude journal. Write three entries in it every morning of things that you are grateful for in you life. Most of us wake up every morning thinking and trying to plan the day out and sometimes overwhelm ourselves with thoughts and this sets our whole mood and energy for the day. If you start your day off with a positive mindset it will reflect through out the course of the day.
Your brain has been programmed to think a certain way and the only way to change the program is through reputation. Three things you are grateful for everyday for the rest of your life!
If you are grateful for life then you are living in the present. The majority of our society is living in the future, putting expectations on life and in their minds creating events that haven’t taken place yet that causes anxiety. Anxiety in most common cases is merely a person experiencing an event in the future, that hasn’t even taken place yet. It has become a form of normal thinking that most people have no clue on what they are actually anxious about anymore.
If you do your research you will find that the most happy and successful people in the world have a gratitude ritual that they do everyday.
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Stop watching the daily news.
Think about this just for a minute.
Your Brain/Neurology is designed to be programmed by the environment and information you feed it, and then to create the paradigm that you live in and experience everyday.
If your are watching a box that delivers nothing but negative stories and experiences from around the world then your perspective on the world is gong to be a negative one. There is so many miracles and positive things happening everyday, you just have to open to seeing them. If you are always focussing on the negative you are not allowing yourself fully to be open to the positive that is all around you. If you are concerned about missing the news, reality is stories that are important will always find their way to you through socialising or some other form of social media platform.
As impossible as this might seem to some of you reading this, if you were to give up watching the news every night It is guaranteed that how you see the world will change significantly in a short period.
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Take Responsibility for the way you feel.
The easiest thing you can do is blame someone for the way they made you feel.
It is impossible for someone to make you feel a certain way because they are your emotions that you are feeling not someone else’s. Take responsibility for your own emotions, every experience you have in life whether it be negative or positive there is something important to learn form it. If there is something you don’t like in someone than it is only a reflection on something you don’t like in yourself because how else would you know you didn’t like if it wasn’t presented to you.
Treat life as a school the more you learn the more you excel.
When you take responsibility for your own feelings and actions it is where the healing begins and as you acknowledge these qualities and behaviours in yourself you begin to shift, change and grow as a person and the experiences you have with people change to more positive ones.
There is beauty in everything and everyone and the way to see it all is to see it in you first.
“Clear the Clutter and Be Present”
Enjoy, I intend that this has a profound and positive impact in your daily life.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Aug 9, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Uncategorized
There’s a trend to blame, we see people play the blame game everyday whether it’s our friends, family or work colleagues. Blaming something/someone for the way they are feeling, for their financial situation, for being unhealthy or an unfulfilling career, which in most cases it does not seem to be the individual’s fault.
Now this is an unfortunate mindset that we have all been taught at a young age, through the media, religions our school’s, families, and the list’s go on. Does this excuse us from what is happening in our lives, seeming that it wasn’t our fault?
No… it doesn’t and ill explain why…. Finding an excuse as to why our lives aren’t the way we want them is just another way of finding a reason to let you off the hook from taking responsibility and directing your energy to some external person/situation/physical object. I must admit I’ve been here countless times growing up and if anyone believes they haven’t been here their just lying to themselves.
Reason as to why we don’t get what we want in life is because if we have been living on the effect side (reasons) of life as apposed to living on the cause side (results) and getting what you want.
Believe it or not most the world are predominantly on the effect side of the equation, I mean just an example, if you look at our media system it refers to constant negativity that is providing people with excuses why they shouldn’t do something in life.
If you continue to live on the effect side you will continue to be faced with reasons/excuses for where you are, governed by a way of thinking that blocks off your creativity and narrows your choices and freedom. It’s time to make a change and to shift this way of thinking.
Imagine this…If you were to consistently take responsibility for your state of affairs and be on the cause side, knowing that its no one else’s fault. Taking responsibility for your past, present and future, what can that do for you? How would that change the way you act in life?
It would be empowering; you would take back your power in life to change your health, relationship, or career. Knowing that all the limitations you have are yours and therefore you can work on releasing them to achieve what it is you desire.
This statement “C>E”. Cause and effect: the two sides we can be living on in life. A cause causes a certain effect, if I am punishing myself for getting something wrong all day it may cause the effect of depression.
The cause side of the equation is where a person is responsible for their actions and is achieving results, and then a person on the effects side is usually the person finding reasons and excuses in things.
Cause > Effect
Responsibility (Results) v Reasons (Excuses)
= Empowerment
If you choose to move to the cause side of the equation it will be an empowering experience, it will give you power to change any area of your life, it puts you back in control of your destiny and you wont except anything less than what you want and deserve.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jul 26, 2015 | Anxiety, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills
Life can be this vicious journey that can provide experiences that appear unfair to the average person and I’m sure everyone reading this has had several events in their life that has left some kind of painful event to remember.
These experiences usually take place in our relationships and whether it be a loving relationhsip, friendship or family it is some kind of relationship. There is one common outcome to all these these experiences and it is that one relationship is left with the pain and the emotions to deal with. That relationship is with yourself.
Something happens on an emotional and neurological level when we experience a traumatic event, it creates a seperation.
Our emotional experiences throughout life, and especially during the early imprint years can result in the creation of Parts at the unconscious mind. These Parts generate their own values and beliefs, and are responsible for certain behaviour’s. Overwhelming feelings and reactions, as well as out of control behaviour’s are the result of ‘Conflicting Parts’.
There is a very successful modality called parts intergration I use for these conflicts and it is a useful skill to overcome ‘bad habits’, indecision, procrastination and all sorts of internal conflicts. What it does is bring the part back home to wholeness where it first was before these emotional experiences. All this can be avoided for the future if we create a relationship with ourselves once again.
The relationship that we truly have is with ourselves. Regardless of what stage of life you are one, you experience growth at every step and allow experiences to happen along the way giving you potent life lessons. Have you ever experienced that moment when your inner voice criticizes you for being a size too much and also some time you hear a part of you saying that you are absolutely amazing! This is just a small example of how divided (Part) we are within ourselves.
There are things that we consider as very good and others that we consider bad. Acting without a shred of reflection has the ability to unfurl your Karma that would seem random at best. You always have the power to respond, but if you have the internal awareness then you can prevent a reaction too.
To have the ability to acknowledge that everything has positive and negative aspects and that they all come from within induces a sense of calm. If you see something you don’t like, accept it as a part of life and don’t fight it. If you can remain unaffected by negativity, you will be able to rise above it and do the same for positivity too.
Wholeness is about homeostasis, a state of constant balance within you and the effort to make it so. Sometime we get too excited and soon after experience the state of lowest low. This is what happens when you play with your inner balance. It can be very uplifting when you learn to be calm and composed. It may be perceived by others as numb, but it is a far cry from it!
Here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship with self and become one complete person.
- Stop Judging: If you can learn to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, rest assured that you are prepared to walk a lifetime in your own! You should have a natural ability to see and appreciate beauty amid flaws. It will not be easy to look past the imperfections but when you do, you will know how to value yourself.
- Care less: No, I am not asking you to be self centered who doesn’t care about the world, but I also don’t want you to lose yourself in caring too much. This is what I call as restoring balance to your mind and heart. Compassion must stem from within and you should know when to say no. This will only happen when you respect yourself enough to hold your own.
- Don’t undermine your self-worth: Don’t be a second choice to someone, don’t settle for less than you deserve. Love yourself enough to have the courage to accept the things that do not weaken your value in your own eyes.
- Learn to let go: we hear this a lot, let go this and that. But, what does it really mean? Simply put, it means no strings attached and this is no glorified phrase. To let go is the power to not hold on to things even though when you clearly know how it debilitating it is. If it is not good enough, have the strength to walk away.
- Be forgiving: forgiveness is just as much of consequence to others as it is to you. Life starts from where you end resentment and fear. Someone hurt you yesterday are no reason to hate the world for the rest of your life. Free yourself from your self-imposed prison of grudges and hard feelings. You need to forgive to free you.
- Always see glass half full: Ever felt delusional with pain that it took the better part of your rationality? Has bitterness of years slowly chipped away your sweetness? It doesn’t matter what others think but you know in your heart that this world is not entirely a lost cause, that there is still beauty in it. By changing your thoughts, you can alter the reality, so why not make it fine-looking and positive?
- Always walk straight ahead: To move on does not mean to forget, it just means that you are in acceptance of what happened in the past and you choose to live in the present. It surely doesn’t mean giving up. It means that you pick happiness over misery and are willing to give yourself another chance to set the scale right.
Wholeness is all about harmonizing your mind, body and soul. It is about living your life in such a way that all the aspects of your life become intertwined with one another through coordination. When you are whole, it means that you are never regretful of the choices that you made, even if these choices alter your external reality. A person who is whole will understand this and will be able to make the best choices.
Life is to be lived through your own eyes not your inner conflicts, behaviours and habbits, Only you know when it is time for you to clear all that is holding you back from shining.
Have a wonderful day
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jul 4, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Self-Esteem issues have been on the rise for years and it is manifesting with children at such a young age. Whilst researching self-esteem I came across some interesting and disturbing statistics that I would like to share before I get into the solutions and how to transform your self-esteem.
- The average 2-year-old child hears 432 negative statements per day, but only 32 positive statements each day, according to a research study at the University of Iowa.
- 80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat. (Source)
- Obese boys and girls have significantly lower self-esteem than their non-obese peers. (Source)
- Up to 12% of teen boys are using unproven supplements and/or steroids. (Source)
- Nearly a quarter of girls age 15-17 would consider undergoing plastic surgery. (Source)
- 13 percent of girls age 15-17 acknowledge having an eating disorder. (Source)
- 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. (Source)
- 80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly. Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents. (Source)
- The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, which includes, more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives. (Source)
This is a research conducted by Dove and it reveals the universal increase in beauty pressure:
- Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
• Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic.
We all have our own definition of what respect is and what it looks like. Some people believe it is about knowing your worth and some say it is about improving your esteem and honor. Respect is the key to any relationship and that holds truth in the most important relationship with yourself.
Difference between self-respect and self –esteem
Often people confuse between self respect and self esteem, thanks to the pop psychology that fails to highlight the marked difference between the two – how you think! Self esteem is a concept based on thinking whereas self respect is based on actions.
Self esteem is all about evaluating something, holding it in high regard. The problem with evaluation is that in our assessment, we sometimes lose and sometimes win. However, respect is all about acceptance. Self respect stems from who we are and not what we do. It is about standing tall and feeling pride in the person that we are. If you respect yourself, you will love who you are minus all the judgments.
A research conducted by Judith White and Johnny Walsch from Harvard University, they revealed that there are several advantages of respecting yourself. People that are caught up in the paradigm of high self esteem are often bested by the ones who respect themselves because they are less prone to blame, regret, lies, secrets and stress.
The problems that we face today with regards to self esteem are that there is far too much importance attached to how others interpret the way we look or act. Our lives should be dictated by what we want to do and not what someone else thinks is right or appropriate for us. This question of cultural self esteem and its impositions can be best answered by respecting yourself now more than ever. If you are able to respect who you are, you will be able to make a better version of yourself and that too by your free will. There will be no need to feel pressurized by social standards because all the changes that the society deems fit comes to you naturally. For instance, for someone who would respect their bodies will automatically do things to keep it healthy. You no longer need validation of others to do what you think is right because with self respect, you are able to eliminate the need for approval that can impact your life in so many ways.
“SELF-RESPECT KNOWS NO CONSIDERATIONS.”
MAHATMA GANDHI
If you are on your way to learning and earning respect from yourself then these steps may be helpful.
- Know yourself: The more you understand and accept yourself, the more you would know how unique you are in your own ways. This process of self discovery can be very exciting as you learn new things about who you are. Connecting with you emotionally and spiritually can be a great way to start.
- Accept who you are: it takes a lot of effort to accept who we are. It does not mean that you justify hubris by calling yourself perfect. It is all about being content with who we are and accept our imperfections, especially the ones that can’t be changed.
- Build self confidence: There is nothing more infectious than people who have the confidence to be the people they want to be. It is driven by deep respect for who we are. Start by maintaining positive body language and good posture. Smile more often and if you are complimented for something, accept it with a genuine smile.
- Always keep a positive attitude: Your success in life is all about the attitude you keep. Even if the things are not going the way you would want them to, it is your confidence that keeps you afloat. Always see the brighter side of the coin and you will eventually get what you set out for.
- Don’t be a part of rat race: Don’t beat yourself up because your friends have something you don’t. It is no reason to feel inadequate. Set your standards and work towards achieving the goals that you want to achieve.
- Stand by the choices you make: You need to have firm belief in all the decisions that you make. It is one thing to ask for advice and another to follow your own gut. A mix of two can be a very good combination if you have faith in your choices.
- Handle criticism with grace: learn to tell the difference between constructive feedback and an envious banter. While former will definitely help you in self improvement, the latter should be disregarded without a shred of doubt.
Apart from making these built in changes, you need to start treating yourself with more respect. Don’t let people push you around. Be honest with yourself and draw your own limits. Unless you define these lines, people will not know where to stop. Most importantly, take care of your mind, body & Soul. Read and learn to build you brain, Exercise your body it releases healthy hormones that make’s you feel radiant and confident from within, and meditate or pray to build your spirituality.
May this information have you take action on what is required for you to have the self-respect you deserve.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@livingyourpowernow.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jun 28, 2015 | Quotes, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
Love is Free!
I will use this amazing statement with different people on a weekly basis, and what this actually means is being present in yourself and only yourself.
Understating that love is free and everyone has their own free will. Love can not be manipulated, it can not be controlled.
Love is the most powerful source in existence and if there is one thing everyone of us have in common is we all seek it on some level.
When you try to control love it is going to give you a certain reaction and no matter what the context, Relationships -family- friends. Trying to control and cage love is equivalent to an atomic bomb waiting to explode.
Love means letting go, if you love someone or something you let it free and this also refers to yourself, as everything is merely a reflection of you anyway.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
by Michael Sorgiovanni | May 17, 2015 | Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality, Uncategorized
In Life we are blessed with the ability to make choices, we can choose how we want to feel, we can choose what direction we travel in, and we can choose who we surround and share our lives with. One thing is guaranteed that every choice made will have a consequence, whether it will be a positive or negative consequence is determined by your choice.
There are two main directions you may travel in life; one being the “Victim” and the other the “Victor” . As humans we are born a victim, and it is through our schooling, our religion, our society that teaches us how to become a better victim in life. So many people will find more excuses for why they didn’t do something they wanted to do.
As spiritual being’s having a human experience we can’t but help being curious, and it is when we see a different perspective that feels right, we tune into the Victor. The Victor is the winner, he see’s truth and balance and seeks solutions to issues at hand. The Victor knows that responsibility is the key to freedom.
Who do you choose to be in your life?
The Victim or
The Victor.
Your were born to choose and live as the Victor.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Living Your Power Now
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