3 Keys and Benefits of Focusing on the Positives in Life

3 Keys and Benefits of Focusing on the Positives in Life

 

“When you focus on problems, you will have more problems. When you focus on possibilities you’ll have more opportunities”.

 

Life can be happening for you or happening to you! This comes down to what you choose to focus on. You can focus on life being challenging and hard and accept that a lot of things are just not meant to be. Or you can focus on life being full of opportunities. Even the darkest of times and challenges you experience you still chose to see them as opportunities to grow and develop. These are the two mentalities you could adopt and I believe it is fair to say that majority of the worldview live from the perspective of the first one I mentioned.

 

Most people adopt their set of beliefs that are provided to us as children from our TV shows, schools, religions etc. I’m not stating that all the beliefs are bad but more so, the fact that a lot of people are willing to accept what they have been told is all there is. A true belief is one that created from experience because it is true to you.

 

There are many evident based studies conducted on how positivity can improve one’s life. If you were to only see the positives and opportunities in life, imagine how your quality of life would be?

 

I have marked out a list of benefits in adopting this perspective.

 

Be Optimistic – You might of heard the two types of thinking ‘the optimists vs pessimists. I’m not going to explore too much of the pessimists in this article but more so explore the optimist. The optimistic person will always see the positive and the opportunity in events and life. Being optimist means trusting that good will come of the situation. A lot of people wish they were more of an optimist, but I’m sure some of them will tell you that they just weren’t born that way. We have the ability to change our perspective on life. Some of us it may come easier and some of us it might be a bit more challenging to change. The fact is we all can look at the brighter things in life and its guaranteed as a result you will feel healthier and happier.

 

“Those individuals that choose to stay positive can work a lot more efficiently under pressure to make better decisions”.

 

Being Grateful – is a must in life because the opposite of gratitude is expectation and disappointment. Most people that don’t have a gratitude attitude can live very worried and stressed lives, and this way of thinking usually comes with some anxiety. A lot of arguments in relationship’s are from some form of expectation that wasn’t met, now I’m saying this shouldn’t happen, but if it is constantly happening in your relationship than maybe its time to change the focus and be grateful for the good things you have in your relationship not the things you don’t have. Being grateful is a way of being present and when your anxious is usually from you worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet in the future. When you get to a high level of gratitude life and everything that enter becomes a gift.

 

Awareness – One of the biggest addictions that humans have in this world is negative thinking. Most people just need to think negative all the time, now I don’t believe anyone wants to think like that. I believe what happens after you have been doing something for so long (eg negative thinking) it becomes a part of you and it will require you do something different to change the behaviour. One of the easiest ways to clear your thoughts is to open up your awareness. As broad and simple as that sounds it is true. When you open up your awareness and peripheral to what you’re feeling, hearing and seeing you become more present within the moment. Negative thoughts are never present, they are either past related or future related. So when you open up your awareness you are truly living in the moment and experiencing life at its best.

 

When you choose to focus on having a positive life, Opportunities arise everywhere, you’re performing at a higher level in life. All of these benefits are possible just from changing your perspective to every wrong there are many rights. No matter what the situation there is always a positive to learn and see.

 

Peace and Love  

Michael Sorgiovanni 

 

 

How to be happy! 8 Steps to Gain Confidence Within Yourself!

How to be happy! 8 Steps to Gain Confidence Within Yourself

 

“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things”.

Joe Namath

How to be happy? It’s no word of lie that being confident in life just makes things that bit easier. It can assist you in making decisions and having a more stable life and even feeling a lot more free. Being more confident can help you to stop comparing yourself to others and undermining yourself. You will be less destructive and definitely be more appealing in your relationships. Really think about it, who doesn’t love someone who’s happier, confident and cheerful?

 

To require this confidence you need to ask yourself some questions. What do you want personally? Do you want to feel more confident about yourself? Do you want have that certainty in yourself and not rely on others validation or approval? Do you want to free yourself from the chains that hold you back from being you? If you answered yes to any of the questions than it is clear that you want to be more confident in life.

 

Here a few simple ways to implement in your life that will increase your confidence levels and how to be happy easily:

 

1.Laugh & Smile! These are two easy steps to do. It is not rocket science to know that when you are smiling or laughing you are feeling good. When you express yourself in such a way your brain releases these great chemicals through your body and it just makes you good in yourself.

 

2.Accept Yourself! Love and accept yourself for who you are even if there are things that you are not comfortable with. When you love and approve of your self as you are, you give yourself permission to be you.

 

3.Never Compare! You are here to live your own life and to create your own experiences not to live through other people’s eyes and expectations. When you stop comparing yourself to others it allows to focus on strengthening your own unique qualities.

 

4.Be Passionate. Find what makes you passionate in life and feed more energy into it. This is only going to make you happier and more confident within yourself.

 

4.Preparation! Always prepare yourself for an adventure. A hiker that is going to climb a mountain is always prepared as if they don’t have all their gear set up they are not going to have the confidence to make achieve the mission.

 

5.Social! You may feel uncomfortable in public or socializing and that is a good thing as it is an opportunity to grow in this area. Challenge yourself to open conversations with people and stay in them. If you do this overtime your confidence will grow. It’s like building muscle the more you train to stronger you get.

 

6.Saying No! Learn to say no more to people. If you are person that is always saying yes to people than you are disempowering yourself. Say no more and do what is best for you and take more control of yourself and decisions.

 

7.Health! Last but not least look after yourself physically. When you eat well and exercise it makes you feel good. Making healthy choices in life helps you think clearer and be more confident in life.

 

These are just a few steps that will assist you in gaining more confidence in life and how to be happy as fast as you can.

Peace & Love 

Michael Sorgiovanni 

 

 

 

 

Resolve a Conflict – 7 Strategies

7 Strategies to Resolve Conflict

 

 

“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to resolve a conflict by peaceful means”. Ronald Reagan

 

 

Conflict is a part of life and it is not something you will avoid completely, it is more something you resolve a conflict and let go at the time. Whether you are a student, teacher, sportsman or businessman. Conflict happens everywhere and for various reasons in each situation. It is therefore important you resolve it in order to avoid relationship breakdowns.

 

There are different types of conflicts you can experience with an individual and if there were to be one that could cause the most abrupt decision it is a conflict in values. When our values are conflicted on a deep level it can be more of a challenge to resolve as our values are a part of our identity at the time.

 

Here are 7 strategies to resolve a conflict.

 

Make a rational assessment.

When conflict appears in you life you have a choice to react and get angry or remain calm and distinguish yourself from the situation and resolve a conflict. Giving yourself time to assess the situation for what it is and act rationally it will be easier to resolve the conflict.

 

Communicate to resolve a conflict.

Communication is the key to resolving conflict, but it should be done in a calm and non-threatening manner. You can be assertive in your communication but never aggressive and never blame anyone else for an issue at the end of the day you are in it and you put yourself there. Blaming has never resolved anything in life and it never will, all it will do it amplify the situation. Look at the problem as if it is an opportunity to grow and you will find some resolution.

 

Change your focus.

One of the easiest ways to make an issue worse is focusing on the bad at the time. When doing this, the problem will only get bigger and bigger, and all you begin to see is all the bad and negative traits. Look at the other person’s point of view and solve it practically. Remember the same thing might be in front of us and that doesn’t mean we all see the same thing to resolve a conflict.

 

 

 Keep an open perspective.

Never look at things as black and white because all you are doing is limiting yourself to any form of growth and resolution. Looking from the perspective of black and white is the same as right and wrong it can only go two ways and when egos are involved the situation tends to heighten. Be open to possibilities as to why the conflict is there and this will get you out of the unproductive narrow mindset, and resolve a conflict.

 

 

Create a mutual agreement.

While finding a solution between two parties, opinions can vary. Don’t force other to accept your opinion. Having a mutual agreement is crucial, when everyone agrees the no longer exist.

 

 Listen.

If you want to resolve conflict then you must be willing to listen to the other persons voice not just your own. Even if the other parties are screaming and yelling, remain calm and try to listen. You might be surprised that what they are saying could really be a message to themselves but that is not your job to tell them. Your job is to listen and when someone sees that you hearing what he or she is saying it builds trust and when trust is there an agreement is around the corner.

 

Stay present.

Don’t make assumptions and don’t bring the past into a situation you are trying to resolve. Factual information and being present in the current situation will allow an opportunity for communication to be more open and make it easier to resolve the conflict.

 Peace and Love 

Michael Sorgiovanni 

 

find peace 3 simple steps to find it

3 simple steps to find peace in life

 

Find Peace in you life

If I were to ask you do you remember when was the last time you stopped and just did something for yourself, something that you enjoy, what would the answer be? No? Or not recently? If you answer this questions with yes you have to find peace in your life.

 

It is easy to get caught up in life. Life can just get so busy and we blink our eyes and another day is over. We get so caught up with making excuses to not go here because we have to do this. We just never seem to get around to catching up with that friend or doing that hobby you like. The worst part is many of us feel guilty if we spend even a few moments other that to improve their career or work!

 

We live in a very fast paced world and time is so valuable, every second counts to us. You are worried about bills, commitments, and targets etc. Some days you feel like you have the world over your shoulders. Most of us share this reality and it would be in your favour to learn how to find peace in all the chaos before you get sick or run yourself down. Your journey is about staying on top of your game without loosing your life or health, so you have to find peace and do your work.

Here a three things to give yourself to find peace:

Spend time with your loved ones

While it looks impossible most of the time, it is possible if you want to make time for it. We all think our friends, family and loved ones are around all the time and it’s the whole concept of us believing we have all the time in the world. When we believe this we tend to do nothing and a few months go by and you haven’t seen anyone or spent time with them. Connecting with people you care about is rewarding as it calms and slows you down, it puts your mind at ease and will change your focus off the stress. It grounds you in the moment!

Meditate to find peace

Meditation does not need to be a religious process – you can choose to do what ever you want as long as your goal is to get yourself in calm state. Albert Einstein was an extraordinary man and he had one of those minds that just kept going. His process was to hold a pen in his fingers, close his eyes and just breath and as soon as the pen dropped he knew it was time to get up. Meditation is all about spending time to calm your mind and body, to be relaxed and peaceful!

Allow time for yourself

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, because this is your life and if you aren’t going to take control of your life then someone else will, with this you find peace easily. We all play different roles in life – you can be the mother, father, friend or partner. We are so talented that we can play so many different roles in life but one important thing we tend to forget is to nurture ourselves. It doesn’t matter how busy you are or how your day went – allocating time for yourself will give a limitless amount of benefits. Creating a true relationship with yourself will determine your relationship with others and I mean that in regards to what kind of chaos you attract in your life. If you find your peace within it will reflect in your world. So whether it is 10 minutes or 1 hour make the commitment to do something alone. You could read a book, go for a walk, do something that is just for you and only you until you feel a tad selfish – it will make you happy and refreshed.

 

These are just three simple things that you can implement into your life easily to find peace. Peace is presence and the only way you will know how to experience presence is to have a relationship with yourself, stop and feel the good in all and see the love you have all around you.

Peace & Love

Passion to Purpose Coach

Michael Sorgiovanni

coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com

 

7 patterns that you are not inline with your purpose

7 patterns that you are not inline with your purpose

 

“The quest for your purpose is not a straight line. It is filled with mystery, signs, obstacles, victories, dead ends, delays and detours. Your job is to stay optimistic and faithful on your quest”. Jon Gordon

We all have this similar goal and it is to aspire to live freely and in complete bliss. We all have more in common with each other than what we don’t. This being said why do some of us have such different life journeys?

The common individual ends up doing what is right or practical that indicates happiness. Living on the right road becomes very unfortunate for many because there is no right road set in place to live a happy life provided to us. Many people loose their happiness and just become existing, instead of living. It becomes a routine and repetitive boring life without heart, soul, or happiness. Consistently feeling there is something missing and possibly expressing in complaints. It is at this point you wonder what went wrong and ponder. It is because you are not living your purpose and lack any passion.

Here are few things that will indicate you are not living your life purpose!

1. Searching: If you are constantly wondering what you are missing in life and searching for the missing link, you are not living your purpose.

2. You’re here: Why do you think you are reading this post? Because, you feel like you are missing something in life – your purpose and landed here in hopes to find it! Your inner self is always searching for what you truly desire, the question is are you seeing it?

3. You aren’t happy: No matter what you do or what you’ve achieved, you aren’t happy. You could be living a dream – luxury, money, loving family, career, fame, and what not! Yet, you aren’t happy and feel something is missing, while everyone who looks at you from outside think you are living a dream – you aren’t living your purpose.

4. Fear of the unknown: You know this isn’t what you are meant to do, but still stuck with it for practical reasons or because you don’t want to leave your routine life – your net of safety in pursuit of the unknown, you aren’t living your purpose

5. Disconnect: Do you feel your life isn’t what it is meant to be and that you aren’t sure about life, though it looks like you have everything you need for a intended and happy life? It means you aren’t living your purpose.

6. Just existing: Every morning you wake up, but aren’t excited for the new day you’ve been given? If you aren’t excited, you are not passionate about what you do. You are just existing and not living? You are not living your purpose.

7. Last but not the least – doing things for the approval of others! There are times when we feel pressured to do stuff for others – it could be your parents’ approval, to appease or impress your loved one, etc. You do things you probably don’t want to do but think others expect it from you, so you end up doing it – you could be living someone else’s life.

We are born into this beautiful world and all be a purpose on this earth to fulfill. Some of us are not even aware of this notion consciously. You have so much to give to this world, why would you choose just to follow the crowd and be like everyone else? Your gift of individuality should be empowered and promoted to serve a purpose. Life can be very short and if we think we have all the time in the world than we really won’t challenge ourselves to do more because we could always do it later. Find your purpose, search within yourself and live the life you were born to!

It begins with finding your passion. Check out this article on 7 steps to create passion -> https://livingyourpowernow.com/7-steps-to-create-passion-in-your-life/

Peace & Love 

Michael Sorgiovanni 

coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com

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4 step forgiveness process

4 step forgiveness process

 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.  

Mahatma Gandhi

 

We have experienced some form of pain and hurt at some point, and even hold some resentment to date. You could experience something as simple as an act done due to sibling rivalry, or simple fights at work or something bigger like a break-up, betrayal, murder, assault, etc. The fact of the matter is, no one is perfect and we all tend to make mistakes of different magnitude depending on the circumstances. These mistakes are sometimes what moulds us who we are today, But, holding a grudge or resentment towards someone long after the original incident can lead to various issues in life, emotional, health problems relationship etc. I appreciate a few issues can leave a lasting mark, but it depends on whether or not you want to let it go, forgive and continue with your life or choose to bring them into your future.

 

So, why should you forgive someone who’s wronged or betrayed you? If you are thinking that I am suggesting you need to forgive the person who’s hurt you because they need salvation or should be able to live guilt-free, you are wrong! Forgiveness is for your benefit and yours only!

 

Holding onto resentment or anger towards someone is the same as slowly torquering yourself, because the more anger you have within yourself the more your body and thoughts will be polluted with negativity. We are driven by emotion in life and if we are hanging onto negative emotions like anger or resentment toward someone all we are really doing on the biological and neurology level is experiencing these emotions in ourselves, in other terms we are directly punishing ourselves.

 

Do you really want to burden yourself and risk your health because you refuse to let someone else go, that probably does not give a crap anyway?

 

 

 

So, how can you forgive? Here are few steps to get you started with the process of forgiveness.

 

Understand: Think and understand what incident or who is actually responsible for resentment or grudge you’re holding. Put yourself in the other persons shoes just for a minute, we all have a different picture in life and we believe what we see and experience. So it is always possible that the other person is seeing a complete different picture from his or her own emotion’s and challenges. Sometimes we can get so caught up that we don’t even know what we are angry at and what we could be experiencing is the blame we have for ourselves and we project it onto another person. My point here is; if they are your emotions you are feeling than you are responsible for controlling them not another person unless you allow it.

 

Talk: In most cases, you would hold a grudge or resentment about a person or incident, but you’ve never spoken to someone about it. Once you identify the problem, talk to someone about it. It could be anyone –Family, a Coach/Therapist, and friend. This has two advantages – one, the resentment comes down after letting it out because the fact of the matter everything needs an outlet, if you hang onto it all that will happen is it will expand over time until it explodes. Talking will also help you get a different perspective of the scenario or person, which will open the possibilities.

 

 

Don’t Expect: The person who wronged you, may or may not regret it. That’s none of your business or concern. Holding resentment is affecting you emotionally and physically and only you. Instead of thinking you will only let go when they apologize, take some responsibility and decide to forgive and let go. Free yourself from the burden. You don’t need to communicate with the person involved or even make-up with them! You can write them a letter and then burn it. You can be as creative as you want with the process just as long as the intention is to let go and get it out of you.

 

Start Living: Irrespective of who’s wronged you, you are defeating them by living your life and succeeding in everything you do! So, focus on your goals and objectives and work towards achieving them. Drive your energy towards leading a successful and happy life and work towards that direction. Be motivated by yourself and your own motives not others.

 

When you let go and start living, you will start noticing positive changes in your mood, stress-levels, health, and what not. Forgive yourself and others and start living your life free from resentment and guilt – you are worth it!

 

For real deep burdens one of the most powerful techniques in this world for forgiveness is an ancient Hawaiian process called “Ho’oponopono”. I wont be going into this process to much as I will be writing a whole article on ho’oponopono in the near future. The process utilizes 4 phrases and the process is as follows. Think of the person or even picture yourself in the situation or the effected part of you and say these words slowly: 1. I love you 2. I am sorry 3. Please forgive me 4. Thank you and then repeat. In this process you will see the image change, it will evolve and become what it is meant to be beautiful, amazing and free.

Peace & Love

Passion to Purpose Coach

Michael Sorgiovanni

coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com