“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to resolve a conflict by peaceful means”. Ronald Reagan

Conflict is a part of life and it is not something you will avoid completely, it is more something you resolve a conflict and let go at the time. Whether you are a student, teacher, sportsman or businessman. Conflict happens everywhere and for various reasons in each situation. It is therefore important you resolve it in order to avoid relationship breakdowns.

There are different types of conflicts you can experience with an individual and if there were to be one that could cause the most abrupt decision it is a conflict in values. When our values are conflicted on a deep level it can be more of a challenge to resolve as our values are a part of our identity at the time.

Here are 7 strategies to resolve a conflict.

Make a rational assessment.

When conflict appears in you life you have a choice to react and get angry or remain calm and distinguish yourself from the situation and resolve a conflict. Giving yourself time to assess the situation for what it is and act rationally it will be easier to resolve the conflict.

Communicate to resolve a conflict.

Communication is the key to resolving conflict, but it should be done in a calm and non-threatening manner. You can be assertive in your communication but never aggressive and never blame anyone else for an issue at the end of the day you are in it and you put yourself there. Blaming has never resolved anything in life and it never will, all it will do it amplify the situation. Look at the problem as if it is an opportunity to grow and you will find some resolution.

Change your focus.

One of the easiest ways to make an issue worse is focusing on the bad at the time. When doing this, the problem will only get bigger and bigger, and all you begin to see is all the bad and negative traits. Look at the other person’s point of view and solve it practically. Remember the same thing might be in front of us and that doesn’t mean we all see the same thing to resolve a conflict.

 Keep an open perspective.

Never look at things as black and white because all you are doing is limiting yourself to any form of growth and resolution. Looking from the perspective of black and white is the same as right and wrong it can only go two ways and when egos are involved the situation tends to heighten. Be open to possibilities as to why the conflict is there and this will get you out of the unproductive narrow mindset, and resolve a conflict.

Create a mutual agreement.

While finding a solution between two parties, opinions can vary. Don’t force other to accept your opinion. Having a mutual agreement is crucial, when everyone agrees the no longer exist.

 Listen.

If you want to resolve conflict then you must be willing to listen to the other persons voice not just your own. Even if the other parties are screaming and yelling, remain calm and try to listen. You might be surprised that what they are saying could really be a message to themselves but that is not your job to tell them. Your job is to listen and when someone sees that you hearing what he or she is saying it builds trust and when trust is there an agreement is around the corner.

Stay present.

Don’t make assumptions and don’t bring the past into a situation you are trying to resolve. Factual information and being present in the current situation will allow an opportunity for communication to be more open and make it easier to resolve the conflict.

 Peace and Love 

Michael Sorgiovanni