by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jan 24, 2016 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality, Uncategorized
This week I had the privilege of assisting an amazing women, she has had the most extraordinary life that unfortunately was constructed around pain. It is amazing how strong we can be when strength and the will to survive is all we know.
We all have a story and have experienced some form of emotions that have caused a negative impact in our life. However it’s what we do with these emotions that makes us individuals, because majority of people will just accept what they have and what they get.
We become conditioned by our experiences and a certain standard is set sub consciously to what we believe we deserve in life. If you are not getting what you want or feeling the way you would like to feel, it is because on some level you lack the belief that you deserve to receive. So in my opinion self development and goal setting is a very important thing in our life. But the most important thing on goal setting is that you work hard on your goals.
This can be programmed into you by modelling your parents and family members as a child. If you had parents that felt they deserved more, that may have given you the belief that others deserve more than you. Maybe you come from a background of lack and all you experienced was people just surviving their way through life. This could possibly condition you in a way that every event must be challenging because at a core level it is what you know life to be.
Yes these deep programs and beliefs will take some more time and effort to change, but nonetheless they are your beliefs and programs that you are allowing to run your life and only you have the opportunity to change them.
How to make the change..
1. Grab a piece of paper and divide the page into 3 columns.
2. On the left side of the page write down all the things you want to stop happening to you in your life, create a nice list of all the crappy things.
3. In the middle column write down what you do want instead of those you wrote that you are sick of. Keep them aligned on the page with those in the left column.
4. In the last column create an affirmation that begins with either “I Deserve” or “I Am” and I want you to do it in such a way that if you were to tell yourself something and that something would be taken serious and create a powerful impact and change in your life. What would the words look like?
5. Look in the mirror and confirm these affirmations to the amazing individual that looks back at you. This may feel uncomfortable for many at the beginning, so uncomfortable you might even try and convince yourself out of it. This is a good thing, challenge yourself I’m sure you’ve experienced harder things in life than loving yourself.
Make this a ritual every morning look in the mirror and repeat… until it becomes a belief. You will see the difference over time and start to feel deserving of receiving.
Enjoy and have fun with this!
Peace & Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jan 10, 2016 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“The only thing that you have that nobody else has is you, your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can”.
Identity and Individuality is your most powerful asset you have because its the source of all that makes you, that give you and your life meaning it defines who you are and its where your uniqueness resides.
life biggest lesson is the lesson of “The loss of Identity”
Loosing your identity is more common than you think and at some point we have all or will experience this confusing thought of how the “hell did I end up here”. I’m sure there has been a time you have lacked the confidence to make a decision and allowed someone else to make it for you and then end up in a scenario that was not one of your choice.
Predominately this loss occurs within the relationships we have in our lives. It could be from any context of a relationship; a Committed Partnership, Family, Social Friendship, Work Relationships etc
The effects can be catastrophic to your life and many people go through life hypnotized and living an illusion in someone else’s expectations.
How would you know you have lost this sacred part of you.
-Maybe you miss feeling independent and lack confidence as a person? or
-Make decisions with someone else’s perspective even when they’re not a contribution.
-Or maybe you feel like you’ve lost that unique personality that use to separate you from the rest and now have lost confidence in your own abilities?
Having your own independence is very important to living a life that you are sure and confident with. It is crucial to any relationship that both couples or groups have their own presence to keep it healthy and lasting. A relationship that is driven by one’s power to control is a lifeless experience and a self awakening is required for change.
I have marked out three ways to assist anyone to establish their own identity that might be feeling lost or unsure as who they are or have become:
- Have Some Time Alone
You can never truly know someone if you don’t know yourself so save yourself many troubles and arguments and get to know more about what makes you happy, and what makes you sad. Feel what you feel and explore your inner peace. Spending more time alone will help you regain your sense of self.
When your alone you can be completely honest with your self. Challenge yourself – write something down, write the things that piss you off in life and in people and see if any of those things resemble in you. Write the things that you want in life, set some goals keep them to yourself if you want.
Identify your hobbies and interest and just do them, set a date and book something in that will commit you to the experience.
- Make new friends
Making new friends will give you the confidence in knowing that you have your own independence and it will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone. Join a social group or a sports team and connect with people on different levels that you are interested in and let go of all expectations. Have fun laugh about things that you wouldn’t usually with others. Meeting new people will show that you are still capable of being the person you used to be the “good parts”.
- Trust Yourself
Don’t be so dependant on people and there is no need to revolve your whole life around other people. You don’t have to tell your partner everything, create a relationship that is free and based on trust.
Trust yourself enough to take risks, you will always come out in front by following your own gut feeling. Tap into your intuition and trust it. Make small decisions and acknowledge them and overtime you will get more confident at making the big decisions.
Bounce back if you have experienced a toxic relationship and if you are in one then make some changes in your life, get out of the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life, take control and reclaim your independence.
Power is in the paradox – By getting lost you will find yourself and live with identity and purpose.
Peace and Love – Your Coach
Michael Sorgiovanni
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Nov 22, 2015 | Anxiety, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Quotes, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“You are born alone, and you die alone”
As confronting as the above quote might be, it actually is the truth. You were born into this world a beautiful soul and humanised into the body you now reside in. A spiritual being with a purpose to have a human experience of individuality.
In current times, If there were to be a reason why so many relationships end and mental and physical illness is on the rise, It would be from humanities biggest form of abuse over the previous centuries.
“The Neglected Self”
Humans have abused theirselves for too many years by neglecting the one true thing they came into this world with.
“Thyself”
We live in a time where it is common to search for love to be loved, people expect good health with bad health choices, and people seek a positive life with negative ways. ~ Conflict at its best!
“The is no greater power on this earth than self love, “.
The solution….
If you love yourself others can love you, and love is something you chose to give to others, it is not a need nor a requirement. The only “must” is the love you give yourself because is sets the foundation of your whole life, to how you think, how you feel, how your treated in this beautiful world we live in.
When you love yourself you will…
1. Respect your body – educate yourself on food and exercise and give your body what it requires.
2. Respect your Mind – Expand your consciousness, develop emotional intelligence and do what is required to think positive, feel and live positive.
3. Connect – seek truth in all things that make you happy, respect the earth and all its creatures, fill your soul with joy. Remember how to breath and tune into the world of absolute.
~The world can only change when you do~
If I were to ask you how your day begins and how does it ends? What would you say?
Peace and Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
coach@michaelsorgiovanni.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jul 4, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Self-Esteem issues have been on the rise for years and it is manifesting with children at such a young age. Whilst researching self-esteem I came across some interesting and disturbing statistics that I would like to share before I get into the solutions and how to transform your self-esteem.
- The average 2-year-old child hears 432 negative statements per day, but only 32 positive statements each day, according to a research study at the University of Iowa.
- 80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat. (Source)
- Obese boys and girls have significantly lower self-esteem than their non-obese peers. (Source)
- Up to 12% of teen boys are using unproven supplements and/or steroids. (Source)
- Nearly a quarter of girls age 15-17 would consider undergoing plastic surgery. (Source)
- 13 percent of girls age 15-17 acknowledge having an eating disorder. (Source)
- 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. (Source)
- 80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly. Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents. (Source)
- The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, which includes, more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives. (Source)
This is a research conducted by Dove and it reveals the universal increase in beauty pressure:
- Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
• Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic.
We all have our own definition of what respect is and what it looks like. Some people believe it is about knowing your worth and some say it is about improving your esteem and honor. Respect is the key to any relationship and that holds truth in the most important relationship with yourself.
Difference between self-respect and self –esteem
Often people confuse between self respect and self esteem, thanks to the pop psychology that fails to highlight the marked difference between the two – how you think! Self esteem is a concept based on thinking whereas self respect is based on actions.
Self esteem is all about evaluating something, holding it in high regard. The problem with evaluation is that in our assessment, we sometimes lose and sometimes win. However, respect is all about acceptance. Self respect stems from who we are and not what we do. It is about standing tall and feeling pride in the person that we are. If you respect yourself, you will love who you are minus all the judgments.
A research conducted by Judith White and Johnny Walsch from Harvard University, they revealed that there are several advantages of respecting yourself. People that are caught up in the paradigm of high self esteem are often bested by the ones who respect themselves because they are less prone to blame, regret, lies, secrets and stress.
The problems that we face today with regards to self esteem are that there is far too much importance attached to how others interpret the way we look or act. Our lives should be dictated by what we want to do and not what someone else thinks is right or appropriate for us. This question of cultural self esteem and its impositions can be best answered by respecting yourself now more than ever. If you are able to respect who you are, you will be able to make a better version of yourself and that too by your free will. There will be no need to feel pressurized by social standards because all the changes that the society deems fit comes to you naturally. For instance, for someone who would respect their bodies will automatically do things to keep it healthy. You no longer need validation of others to do what you think is right because with self respect, you are able to eliminate the need for approval that can impact your life in so many ways.
“SELF-RESPECT KNOWS NO CONSIDERATIONS.”
MAHATMA GANDHI
If you are on your way to learning and earning respect from yourself then these steps may be helpful.
- Know yourself: The more you understand and accept yourself, the more you would know how unique you are in your own ways. This process of self discovery can be very exciting as you learn new things about who you are. Connecting with you emotionally and spiritually can be a great way to start.
- Accept who you are: it takes a lot of effort to accept who we are. It does not mean that you justify hubris by calling yourself perfect. It is all about being content with who we are and accept our imperfections, especially the ones that can’t be changed.
- Build self confidence: There is nothing more infectious than people who have the confidence to be the people they want to be. It is driven by deep respect for who we are. Start by maintaining positive body language and good posture. Smile more often and if you are complimented for something, accept it with a genuine smile.
- Always keep a positive attitude: Your success in life is all about the attitude you keep. Even if the things are not going the way you would want them to, it is your confidence that keeps you afloat. Always see the brighter side of the coin and you will eventually get what you set out for.
- Don’t be a part of rat race: Don’t beat yourself up because your friends have something you don’t. It is no reason to feel inadequate. Set your standards and work towards achieving the goals that you want to achieve.
- Stand by the choices you make: You need to have firm belief in all the decisions that you make. It is one thing to ask for advice and another to follow your own gut. A mix of two can be a very good combination if you have faith in your choices.
- Handle criticism with grace: learn to tell the difference between constructive feedback and an envious banter. While former will definitely help you in self improvement, the latter should be disregarded without a shred of doubt.
Apart from making these built in changes, you need to start treating yourself with more respect. Don’t let people push you around. Be honest with yourself and draw your own limits. Unless you define these lines, people will not know where to stop. Most importantly, take care of your mind, body & Soul. Read and learn to build you brain, Exercise your body it releases healthy hormones that make’s you feel radiant and confident from within, and meditate or pray to build your spirituality.
May this information have you take action on what is required for you to have the self-respect you deserve.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@livingyourpowernow.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jun 28, 2015 | Quotes, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
Love is Free!
I will use this amazing statement with different people on a weekly basis, and what this actually means is being present in yourself and only yourself.
Understating that love is free and everyone has their own free will. Love can not be manipulated, it can not be controlled.
Love is the most powerful source in existence and if there is one thing everyone of us have in common is we all seek it on some level.
When you try to control love it is going to give you a certain reaction and no matter what the context, Relationships -family- friends. Trying to control and cage love is equivalent to an atomic bomb waiting to explode.
Love means letting go, if you love someone or something you let it free and this also refers to yourself, as everything is merely a reflection of you anyway.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jun 14, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality, Uncategorized
Are you in need for some motivation? Or do you think you need some more time to think about it?..:-)
Motivation would have to be one of the largest topics on the Internet in the context of self-improvement, and there are many great articles and recourses that will assist you. But.. There seems to be a misconception with some individuals and that is if someone that is lacking motivation in their life and has a severe case of procrastination means they have a psychological problem and require therapy. I mean there is no doubt that there is a greater issue to someone that has a severe case, but if it is just an issue with procrastination does is require a therapist or psychologist? I would say no!
Procrastination is merely a state just like motivation they both have emotions that drive them, and as I have mentioned in previous articles, any state you desire can be achieved in seconds.
In life there is always a positive in every situation and procrastination doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative it is sometimes required to get us to think logically before we make a decision, and prevent those regretful situations.
Then there’s that other type of procrastination the negative type “The Time Thief”. This type of procrastination does have a positive but it does require you to take action and get off your ass and do something as appose to nothing.
There are two types of Motivation and to have the best results in dealing with procrastination it would be to recognize which approach will work best for yourself and the situation.
- Towards Motivation: is when we put more emphasis on the benefits of doing something, we move towards a goal and it is our values and feelings that drive us in the context of what we are intending to achieve. We are driven by all the positive vision’s or feeling’s that will lead us to success.
- Away From Motivation: is when we put more emphasis on the negative results we might get by not taking action. We focus on the vision or feelings we would have if we failed or just didn’t do anything. This way is refereed to, as the negative way of motivation however is very necessary in some situations and individuals.
With self-motivation you can break new grounds, learn new things, change your circumstances and give your life new meaning.
Here are 10 ways to get motivated:
1. Mind
Engage your mind daily in something new and challenging. Try filling in a crossword, listen to new music, read a book and allow yourself to be challenged. Purpose to learn something new every single day.
2. Organize
Planning is important. When everything is disorganized it loses meaning. Plan ahead. Plan for the next day at work from what to wear to what to eat and you will anticipate to see that day so as to live through the activities you have planned.
3. Talk
Verbal communication is what makes the world go round. Make a new friend, talking to other people opens a new scope of thinking as you learn new cultures and new ways of doing things, and a new appreciation of life develops.
4. Insight
This refers to a new level of understanding. The only way to get insight is by being open to learn from others, being daring enough to take up new activities and get challenged. A broader understanding brings self-drive.
5. Variety
Doing the same things can be boring. Take a trip, change your wardrobe, change your hair or try out something new. Variety spices up your life. You will be surprised at the things you can do.
6. Attitude
Optimism cannot be over emphasized. To get motivated the glass should always be half full in your eyes. From the worst of circumstances, look for the very best and express gratitude.
7. Teach
Teaching what you know to somebody else brings satisfaction and spreads joy leaving you fulfilled and encourages you to know more.
8. Incentive
Reward yourself. A personal incentive encourages discipline.
9. Opportunity
When we look around us, there are a lot of things that we can do differently and change our circumstances. Cease every chance to better your life and learn new ways to grow and assist others.
10. Nurture
Improve on the skills you already and learn more every day. From the simplest of things like how to bake something new to the more complex things like learning how to play an instrument.
Motivation is all inside you. Your mind is your limitation.
Get a picture of what you want to achieve and see how it makes you feel, get right in that experience and hear what is going on there, really be associated and hold that picture in you mind and repeat this process over and over until you are there. This simple process will get you out of procrastination an into motivation.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
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