by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jul 4, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
“Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Self-Esteem issues have been on the rise for years and it is manifesting with children at such a young age. Whilst researching self-esteem I came across some interesting and disturbing statistics that I would like to share before I get into the solutions and how to transform your self-esteem.
- The average 2-year-old child hears 432 negative statements per day, but only 32 positive statements each day, according to a research study at the University of Iowa.
- 80% of children who are 10 years old are afraid of being fat. (Source)
- Obese boys and girls have significantly lower self-esteem than their non-obese peers. (Source)
- Up to 12% of teen boys are using unproven supplements and/or steroids. (Source)
- Nearly a quarter of girls age 15-17 would consider undergoing plastic surgery. (Source)
- 13 percent of girls age 15-17 acknowledge having an eating disorder. (Source)
- 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. (Source)
- 80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. 90% of high school junior and senior women diet regularly. Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents. (Source)
- The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, which includes, more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives. (Source)
This is a research conducted by Dove and it reveals the universal increase in beauty pressure:
- Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful (up from 2% in 2004)
• Only 11% of girls globally are comfortable using the word beautiful to describe themselves
• 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful
• 80% of women agree that every woman has something about her that is beautiful but do not see their own beauty
• More than half (54%) of women globally agree that when it comes to how they look, they are their own worst beauty critic.
We all have our own definition of what respect is and what it looks like. Some people believe it is about knowing your worth and some say it is about improving your esteem and honor. Respect is the key to any relationship and that holds truth in the most important relationship with yourself.
Difference between self-respect and self –esteem
Often people confuse between self respect and self esteem, thanks to the pop psychology that fails to highlight the marked difference between the two – how you think! Self esteem is a concept based on thinking whereas self respect is based on actions.
Self esteem is all about evaluating something, holding it in high regard. The problem with evaluation is that in our assessment, we sometimes lose and sometimes win. However, respect is all about acceptance. Self respect stems from who we are and not what we do. It is about standing tall and feeling pride in the person that we are. If you respect yourself, you will love who you are minus all the judgments.
A research conducted by Judith White and Johnny Walsch from Harvard University, they revealed that there are several advantages of respecting yourself. People that are caught up in the paradigm of high self esteem are often bested by the ones who respect themselves because they are less prone to blame, regret, lies, secrets and stress.
The problems that we face today with regards to self esteem are that there is far too much importance attached to how others interpret the way we look or act. Our lives should be dictated by what we want to do and not what someone else thinks is right or appropriate for us. This question of cultural self esteem and its impositions can be best answered by respecting yourself now more than ever. If you are able to respect who you are, you will be able to make a better version of yourself and that too by your free will. There will be no need to feel pressurized by social standards because all the changes that the society deems fit comes to you naturally. For instance, for someone who would respect their bodies will automatically do things to keep it healthy. You no longer need validation of others to do what you think is right because with self respect, you are able to eliminate the need for approval that can impact your life in so many ways.
“SELF-RESPECT KNOWS NO CONSIDERATIONS.”
MAHATMA GANDHI
If you are on your way to learning and earning respect from yourself then these steps may be helpful.
- Know yourself: The more you understand and accept yourself, the more you would know how unique you are in your own ways. This process of self discovery can be very exciting as you learn new things about who you are. Connecting with you emotionally and spiritually can be a great way to start.
- Accept who you are: it takes a lot of effort to accept who we are. It does not mean that you justify hubris by calling yourself perfect. It is all about being content with who we are and accept our imperfections, especially the ones that can’t be changed.
- Build self confidence: There is nothing more infectious than people who have the confidence to be the people they want to be. It is driven by deep respect for who we are. Start by maintaining positive body language and good posture. Smile more often and if you are complimented for something, accept it with a genuine smile.
- Always keep a positive attitude: Your success in life is all about the attitude you keep. Even if the things are not going the way you would want them to, it is your confidence that keeps you afloat. Always see the brighter side of the coin and you will eventually get what you set out for.
- Don’t be a part of rat race: Don’t beat yourself up because your friends have something you don’t. It is no reason to feel inadequate. Set your standards and work towards achieving the goals that you want to achieve.
- Stand by the choices you make: You need to have firm belief in all the decisions that you make. It is one thing to ask for advice and another to follow your own gut. A mix of two can be a very good combination if you have faith in your choices.
- Handle criticism with grace: learn to tell the difference between constructive feedback and an envious banter. While former will definitely help you in self improvement, the latter should be disregarded without a shred of doubt.
Apart from making these built in changes, you need to start treating yourself with more respect. Don’t let people push you around. Be honest with yourself and draw your own limits. Unless you define these lines, people will not know where to stop. Most importantly, take care of your mind, body & Soul. Read and learn to build you brain, Exercise your body it releases healthy hormones that make’s you feel radiant and confident from within, and meditate or pray to build your spirituality.
May this information have you take action on what is required for you to have the self-respect you deserve.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
Transformational Coach
coach@livingyourpowernow.com
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Jun 14, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality, Uncategorized
Are you in need for some motivation? Or do you think you need some more time to think about it?..:-)
Motivation would have to be one of the largest topics on the Internet in the context of self-improvement, and there are many great articles and recourses that will assist you. But.. There seems to be a misconception with some individuals and that is if someone that is lacking motivation in their life and has a severe case of procrastination means they have a psychological problem and require therapy. I mean there is no doubt that there is a greater issue to someone that has a severe case, but if it is just an issue with procrastination does is require a therapist or psychologist? I would say no!
Procrastination is merely a state just like motivation they both have emotions that drive them, and as I have mentioned in previous articles, any state you desire can be achieved in seconds.
In life there is always a positive in every situation and procrastination doesn’t necessarily have to be a negative it is sometimes required to get us to think logically before we make a decision, and prevent those regretful situations.
Then there’s that other type of procrastination the negative type “The Time Thief”. This type of procrastination does have a positive but it does require you to take action and get off your ass and do something as appose to nothing.
There are two types of Motivation and to have the best results in dealing with procrastination it would be to recognize which approach will work best for yourself and the situation.
- Towards Motivation: is when we put more emphasis on the benefits of doing something, we move towards a goal and it is our values and feelings that drive us in the context of what we are intending to achieve. We are driven by all the positive vision’s or feeling’s that will lead us to success.
- Away From Motivation: is when we put more emphasis on the negative results we might get by not taking action. We focus on the vision or feelings we would have if we failed or just didn’t do anything. This way is refereed to, as the negative way of motivation however is very necessary in some situations and individuals.
With self-motivation you can break new grounds, learn new things, change your circumstances and give your life new meaning.
Here are 10 ways to get motivated:
1. Mind
Engage your mind daily in something new and challenging. Try filling in a crossword, listen to new music, read a book and allow yourself to be challenged. Purpose to learn something new every single day.
2. Organize
Planning is important. When everything is disorganized it loses meaning. Plan ahead. Plan for the next day at work from what to wear to what to eat and you will anticipate to see that day so as to live through the activities you have planned.
3. Talk
Verbal communication is what makes the world go round. Make a new friend, talking to other people opens a new scope of thinking as you learn new cultures and new ways of doing things, and a new appreciation of life develops.
4. Insight
This refers to a new level of understanding. The only way to get insight is by being open to learn from others, being daring enough to take up new activities and get challenged. A broader understanding brings self-drive.
5. Variety
Doing the same things can be boring. Take a trip, change your wardrobe, change your hair or try out something new. Variety spices up your life. You will be surprised at the things you can do.
6. Attitude
Optimism cannot be over emphasized. To get motivated the glass should always be half full in your eyes. From the worst of circumstances, look for the very best and express gratitude.
7. Teach
Teaching what you know to somebody else brings satisfaction and spreads joy leaving you fulfilled and encourages you to know more.
8. Incentive
Reward yourself. A personal incentive encourages discipline.
9. Opportunity
When we look around us, there are a lot of things that we can do differently and change our circumstances. Cease every chance to better your life and learn new ways to grow and assist others.
10. Nurture
Improve on the skills you already and learn more every day. From the simplest of things like how to bake something new to the more complex things like learning how to play an instrument.
Motivation is all inside you. Your mind is your limitation.
Get a picture of what you want to achieve and see how it makes you feel, get right in that experience and hear what is going on there, really be associated and hold that picture in you mind and repeat this process over and over until you are there. This simple process will get you out of procrastination an into motivation.
Much Love
Michael Sorgiovanni
by Michael Sorgiovanni | May 30, 2015 | Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing
Vitamin D deficiency, as studies have shown, is one of the leading dietary deficiencies worldwide. It is especially predominate among women and children. Deficiency of vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) is especially important in this regard. Through conversion to its active form 1, 25 dihydroxycholecalciferol, it helps to regulate calcium and phosphate metabolisms in the body. Vitamin D is of special importance in women of reproductive age and in pregnant ladies. Let us see how.
Vitamin D deficiency affects every 1 out of 4 women in the reproductive years of 19 to 45. Vitamin D3 is imperative for a healthy pregnancy and for normal development of the fetus. Vitamin D maintains normal serum levels of Calcium and phosphate, which are essential for
- Maintenance of normal bone density
- Normal muscle activity
- Cardiac contractility
- Gastrointestinal motility
- Neuronal activity
- Vascular functions
- Cellular growth and proliferation
- Immune responses
In addition to these, a myriad of other activities are dependent upon normal calcium metabolism by vitamin D along with calcitonin and Parathyroid Hormone (PTH). In women, vitamin D deficiency can lead to multiple disorders like
- Preeclampsia
- Eclampsia
- Insulin resistance
- Gravitational diabetes (pregnancy induced)
- Bacterial vaginosis
- Increased in the risk of C-sectional delivery
- Depressive disorders
- Increased risk of fractures, particularly hip fracture
- Increased risk of infections due to depressed immune system
- Hormonal irregularities
HOW VITAMIN D IMRPOVES INFERTILITY?
Vitamin D receptors have been found in human sperms, ovaries and placenta. Vitamin D, therefore, affects sperm motility and implantation. It also needed for normal ovulation. It also enhances the receptivity of uterus for implantation. Normal levels of vitamin D are essential for successful conception and implantation via in vitro fertilization.
Another process through which vitamin D aids fertilization is by lowering the levels of estradiol and progesterone as high levels of estrogen have been related to infertility. By strengthening the immune system, vitamin D also improves infertility cases due to auto-immune disorders. It also protects the body against Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which is one of the leading causes of infertility in women.
Thus normal serum concentration of vitamin D helps women in getting pregnant. Statistics have shown that 93% of the women with infertility issues suffer from vitamin D deficiency.
OTHER BENEFITS OF VITAMIN D IN WOMEN
- Vitamin D also protects against the breast cancer by causing down regulation of genes involved in carcinogenesis. It causes apoptosis of cancerous cells and thus, is an important part of anti-cancer regimes.
- By strengthening the bones, vitamin D significantly lowers the risk of bone fractures.
- Vitamin D boosts the immunity and thus, protects against infections and prevents inflammatory disorders.
- By regulating the levels of hormones in the body, vitamin D prevents insulin resistance and gestational diabetes.
Vitamin D supplementation and sunlight exposure are recommended in such women as vitamin D helps regulate calcium levels not only in women but also in the developing fetus. In the babies, it helps in normal development of skeleton and teeth. A dietary intake of 1000 IU per 25 pounds of body weight is, therefore, recommended to protect against the adverse effects of vitamin D deficiency, especially in women of reproductive age.
Living Your Power Now
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Apr 22, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality, Uncategorized
Have you ever experienced an event that was shared with a group of people and all had recalled the event in different ways?
Have you ever noticed that some people just don’t get it they just don’t see it the way you see it? Or may be you felt you just couldn’t connect with someone?
Would you like to know why this?
Life is a journey of communication we are meeting people all the time whether it be a relationship/friendship or just a short conversation at the local supermarket, we are connecting with people on different levels all the time. So in a sense it is essential to know how to communicate and understand how each individual and ourselves processes internally.
Our communication usually starts with our thoughts, then resulting in words, tonality and body language. One of the ways to define “thoughts” is how we use our senses internally.
We use our senses inwardly to represent experience to ourselves, and outwardly to perceive the world. Some examples to recalling experiences are, Remember the last time you went to the beach, what’s the first thing that appears in your mind? Maybe it’s a picture of the beach or it could be the sound of the ocean waves that you recall, or maybe you recall the feeling of being relaxed at the beach or the feeling of the sand on your feet as you walk.
If you were to ask a group of employees to describe their manager, the chances are that you will get a variety of answers. One employee might recall him by the way he dresses and how his hair is and then followed by the sound of his voice and then maybe then recall how he makes he or she feel when he is around.
The method of storing and taking in information in our minds through our five senses (Seeing, Hearing, Feeling, taste and smell) are known as Representational Systems in Neuro Linguistic Programming.
In each individual our internal representational systems are different, meaning we all have our own favoured representation processing. You might be a person that is more Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic (feelings), or Auditory Digital (self Talk)
Statistics suggest that in a developed country, people are predominantly;
- 60% Visual (V) Seeing
- 20% Auditory (A) Hearing
- 20% Kinesthetic. (K) Feeling
You’ve probably heard people say things like “I see what you mean,” or “I hear you.” These are not just cute euphemisms, but insights into how that person’s mind is working.
Once you know someone’s primary representational system, you can speak in a way that’s pleasing to- and gains rapport with their unconscious mind.
Our favored representational system becomes our own language for our experience and plays a significant part in our mental processes and consciousness.
Want to know what different behaviours each Representation System display’s?
How about knowing what to look for when communicating with a person to gain a stronger rapport?
I take it you said yes.
Clink in this link and answer each question to find out your primary representational system
————————————————————————————————————————–
Favoured Representational Systems results:
V: Visual
People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up and breathe from the top of their lungs. They often sit forwards in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well groomed, and orderly. They are often thin and wiry. In particular they use gestures a lot, which tend to be nearer head height and have no problem throwing their hands in the air. When memorizing, they do so by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your program LOOKS. Appearances are important to them.
Cues to look for:
- Breathing: Top of Lungs
- Speech Rate: Fast
- Physical Cues: Often gesturing with hands
- Predicates: See, look, and watch…
- Other Cues: Speak in a higher pitch
A: Auditory
People who are auditory will quite often move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves (some even move their lips when doing so) and can be easily distracted by noise. An auditory person can repeat things back to you easily as they learn by listening and generally like music and talking on the phone. They memories by steps, procedures, and sequences. They may move their lips when they’re reading. The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they are doing and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They tend to use auditory predicates such as, “that rings a bell” or “that clicks”, and are interested in what you have to say. Auditory people can be excellent listeners and enjoy music and spoken voice.
- Breathing: Middle of chest
- Speech Rate: Medium
- Physical Cues: Mild hand gestures
- Predicates: Listen, hear, sounds like…
- Other Cues: May tilt head in a conversation
K: Kinesthetic:
People who are kinesthetic will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They use few hand gestures and generally stand within close proximity to the person they are talking with. They use predicates such as, I want to get a handle on it or a firm foundation and will be able to access their emotions more readily. The kinesthetic person is interested in how you feel and memories by walking through the process or doing it. Their handwriting is more rounded and it is likely that they’ll push more firmly on the page. They will be interested in your program if it “feels right”, or if you can give them something they can grasp.
- Breathing: Bottom of lungs
- Speech Rate: Slow
- Physical Cues: Few hand gestures, usually stands close
- Predicates: Gripping, feel, rough, soft, hard…
- Other Cues: Deeper voice, takes longer pauses
Ad: Auditory Digital
This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your program “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems. Auditory Digital’s place a high value on logic and also like detail. They use words, which are abstract with no direct sensory link. They use predicates like, “I understand your motivation” or “makes sense to me”. As their emotions are often attached to the words that they are using to describe, they often are less emotionally attached to outcomes (double dissociation).
- Breathing: Sometimes lower abdomen
- Speech Rate: Sometimes slow
- Physical Cues: Reserved
- Predicates: Sensible, understand, calculate, analyse…
- Other Cues: Often not emotionally attached to outcomes
Enjoy and Have fun with this information.
Much Love
Living Your Power Now
Michael Sorgiovanni
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Apr 5, 2015 | Business, Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Relationships, Self Development & Success Skills, Spirituality
Making decisions by far is your most powerful asset which enables change. Things will not change in your life without the making a decision. Every experience you have and have had in life, where significant change and success occur, it is stemmed and created from a decision. Our dreams and desires become reality just from making one decision.
If there are areas in your life where you are not satisfied, all you have to do is start making some positive decisions to change them, this is your key to getting all you desire in life and becoming the person you want to be in the future.
Like anything in life that provides us with positive results and substance it usually takes a certain amount of commitment to see results.
“Decision-making is an act of choosing between two or more actions”.
Making a decision can be a difficult process for people and something we witness everyday whether it be in business and in other aspects of life. Some people just can’t make decisions, leaving others to make the decisions for them; resulting in an outcome they don’t necessarily want in life.
The truth of the matter is we are consistently making decisions everyday, sometimes its an unconscious decision, these daily decisions could be choosing between the apple or the banana or choosing what to wear. More in depth decisions are the one’s that change our lives, our future, wouldn’t it be great if these decisions were as easy to make as the simple day to day one’s.
Let’s discuss some ways that you can go about making life-changing decisions.
Realize your power to make decisions.
Before making any major decision in your life, check your decision making ability.
If you were to assess yourself on a daily basis on the decision’s you make in comparison to the ones you delegate or redirect to someone else because your not comfortable or even fearful, what would be the percentage? Acknowledging every decision that you make will be your first step to empowering your ability. Everyday you are put in situations that you must make a decision; if you don’t there will be consequences.
“With every decision there will be a consequence, whether it will be a positive one or negative one is up to you”.
A great way to view decision making is from the perspective that making a decision is like building a muscle, like any muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it becomes and the better the results will be.
Act upon your decisions.
There is no point in making a decision and not following it through. When you make a decision, you also need to take relevant actions to make it ‘real’.
A real decision has a cut off period, how long you think of something you create in your mind without following it through with actions, determines the outcome of it being a life changing decision or just a fantasy.
If you want to make some changes in life, then make it a habit to commit to your decisions, by taking action your thoughts and following it through until it is completed. By having consistent practice, you will be confident about your next decision.
Learn from your past decisions.
If you failed to follow through a decision and decide you’re ready for the desired outcome that lead to you making that decision initially; review the decision. Was there a reason subconsciously you hadn’t followed it through?
On the other hand, have you regretted an outcome from a decision you have made before and are now faced with again?
Ask yourself what you can learn to make a better decision next time.
Go with your instinct.
Some people take too much time to decide or are afraid of what will happen next. They go through all the pro’s and con’s of the decision, deep exploration and cautious planning. Bee confident and trust your instinct about your decisions.
Every life changing decision is made on an unconscious level so you need to start trusting your intuition.
You trust your unconscious mind to breath for you while you sleep at night and keep your heart beating… so there is no reason you can’t trust the first thought that comes to your mind.
Explore your options and select the best solution.
If you are satisfied with your decision, and it feels right then decide when you will ‘action’ it. Big decisions can have some risk factors, if you are unsure, you might want to use a risk analysis approach-prioritize and evaluate the best option to take. If it is a major decision you might want use some tools like the Decision Matrix Analysis Approach, this is particularly useful if you there is a lot to consider.
Have fun making decisions.
Sometimes the decision making process is not fun at all, but could be if you were to ‘decide’ to make it a fun experience. Treating it like a game and having fun with it, will expose a lot about yourself. It opens up your creative side.
Your decisions can have a profound effect later on. With every decision you make, be present, and acknowledge how it empowers you and makes you feel.
Much Love
Living Your Power Now
by Michael Sorgiovanni | Mar 25, 2015 | Lifestyle, Natural and Alternative, Physical Wellbeing, Psychological and Emotional Wellbeing, Self Development & Success Skills
“What you think and say you co-create”.
You are probably familiar with the fact that those who are positive in their approaches are more successful than who are not.
Negative thinking can act as a prison- you can end up feeling trapped as it blocks your mind, clouding it with negative influence and chatter, all which can so easily be avoided. So why do people make excuses, is it all too hard? There is no such thing as hard, it may not be easy but is it necessary to label something as hard? The words we use are so crucial to what we intend to achieve and feel.
Words like “Hard” and “Cant” have no depth, all they do is enforce and empower the things we don’t want in life, they stand as obstacles to what we truly desire. They diminish our will and motivation… Such words should not be part of our vocabulary as they impact so much.
It is up to you to be conscious and aware of your language, the more consistent you are on catching yourself on saying or thinking something negative the more powerful your mind and energy expands positively. In effect, it will then become easier to be consistent with processing positive thoughts.
Positive thinking gives you the hope to face challenges in the life vs negative thinking where you loose hope. Having a positive psychology and optimistic nature, you can lead a successful, happy and healthy life.
Some of the sound effects of positive thinking are as follows:
Stress Free Lives
Positive thinkers have a greater advantage to counteract ‘sorrow and grief’ than negative thinkers or pessimists. The optimist can encounter stressing situation well and show braveness, they can resolve issues with their calm state and positive outlook. They ask others for feedback and advice.
Optimism improves Human Health
Not only can positive thinking impact your ability to cope with stress, it impacts your immunity and your overall well-being. The Mayo Clinic reports a number of health benefits associated with optimism, including a reduced risk of death from cardiovascular problems, less depression, and an increased lifespan. Other researchers suggest that positive people lead healthier lifestyles.
Resilience
Our ability to cope with problems is effected by positive thinking and resilient people are able to face a crisis with strength. They have the ability to carry on and overcome adversity.
It may come as no surprise to learn that positive thinking can play a major role in resilience. When dealing with a challenge, optimists typically look at what they can do to fix the problem, instead of giving up hope, they seek resources and are willing to ask others for help.
Researchers have found that in the wake of a crisis, such as a terrorist attack or natural disaster, positive thoughts and emotions encourage thriving, they provide a ‘ buffer’ against depression.
Key to Success
Positive people are more likely to be successful than the negative ones. The moment you implement positive thinking into your life, you will notice that success becomes easier and it’s not as tough and difficult as once perceived.
Boost Motivation
Positive attitude will boost your motivation and you will start to achieve your goals quickly and easily. To have strong motivation is like having “wings”!
Beauty will shine from within
Positive thinking will make you look more beautiful. Honestly, it really does! There is something really attractive about friendly and happy people. Their inner beauty shines and impacts what is visible to others on the outside.
These are just some effects and benefits that you will only get if your thinking is positive and when you avoid negative thinking.
We all need to stop and think what is this phase going to look like when it’s over. Remember you are the architect of your life, you can ‘draw’ on the outcome you want.
Positive Psychology is achieved by “discipline and being consistent in your thoughts and actions”.
“How you think out ways what you actually desire.”
Much Love
Living Your Power Now
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