Secrets of communication

Have you ever experienced an event that was shared with a group of people and all had recalled the event in different ways?

Have you ever noticed that some people just don’t get it they just don’t see it the way you see it? Or may be you felt you just couldn’t connect with someone?

 Would you like to know why this?

Life is a journey of communication we are meeting people all the time whether it be a relationship/friendship or just a short conversation at the local supermarket, we are connecting with people on different levels all the time. So in a sense it is essential to know how to communicate and understand how each individual and ourselves processes internally.

Our communication usually starts with our thoughts, then resulting in words, tonality and body language. One of the ways to define “thoughts” is how we use our senses internally.

 We use our senses inwardly to represent experience to ourselves, and outwardly to perceive the world. Some examples to recalling experiences are, Remember the last time you went to the beach, what’s the first thing that appears in your mind? Maybe it’s a picture of the beach or it could be the sound of the ocean waves that you recall, or maybe you recall the feeling of being relaxed at the beach or the feeling of the sand on your feet as you walk.

If you were to ask a group of employees to describe their manager, the chances are that you will get a variety of answers. One employee might recall him by the way he dresses and how his hair is and then followed by the sound of his voice and then maybe then recall how he makes he or she feel when he is around.

 The method of storing and taking in information in our minds through our five senses (Seeing, Hearing, Feeling, taste and smell) are known as Representational Systems in Neuro Linguistic Programming.

In each individual our internal representational systems are different, meaning we all have our own favoured representation processing. You might be a person that is more Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic (feelings), or Auditory Digital (self Talk)

Statistics suggest that in a developed country, people are predominantly;

1. 60% Visual (V) Seeing
2. 20% Auditory (A) Hearing
3. 20% Kinesthetic. (K) Feeling

You’ve probably heard people say things like “I see what you mean,” or “I hear you.” These are not just cute euphemisms, but insights into how that person’s mind is working.

Once you know someone’s primary representational system, you can speak in a way that’s pleasing to- and gains rapport with their unconscious mind.

Our favored representational system becomes our own language for our experience and plays a significant part in our mental processes and consciousness.

 

Want to know what different behaviours each Representation System display’s?

 

How about knowing what to look for when communicating with a person to gain a stronger rapport?

I take it you said yes.

 Clink in this link and answer each question to find out your primary representational system

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Favoured Representational Systems results: 

V: Visual

People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up and breathe from the top of their lungs. They often sit forwards in their chair and tend to be organized, neat, well groomed, and orderly. They are often thin and wiry. In particular they use gestures a lot, which tend to be nearer head height and have no problem throwing their hands in the air. When memorizing, they do so by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how your program LOOKS. Appearances are important to them.

Cues to look for:

1. Breathing: Top of Lungs
2. Speech Rate: Fast
3. Physical Cues: Often gesturing with hands
4. Predicates: See, look, and watch…
5. Other Cues: Speak in a higher pitch

A: Auditory

People who are auditory will quite often move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves (some even move their lips when doing so) and can be easily distracted by noise. An auditory person can repeat things back to you easily as they learn by listening and generally like music and talking on the phone. They memories by steps, procedures, and sequences. They may move their lips when they’re reading. The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they are doing and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They tend to use auditory predicates such as, “that rings a bell” or “that clicks”, and are interested in what you have to say. Auditory people can be excellent listeners and enjoy music and spoken voice.

1. Breathing: Middle of chest
2. Speech Rate: Medium
3. Physical Cues: Mild hand gestures
4. Predicates: Listen, hear, sounds like…
5. Other Cues: May tilt head in a conversation

K: Kinesthetic:

People who are kinesthetic will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They use few hand gestures and generally stand within close proximity to the person they are talking with. They use predicates such as, I want to get a handle on it or a firm foundation and will be able to access their emotions more readily. The kinesthetic person is interested in how you feel and memories by walking through the process or doing it. Their handwriting is more rounded and it is likely that they’ll push more firmly on the page. They will be interested in your program if it “feels right”, or if you can give them something they can grasp.

1. Breathing: Bottom of lungs
2. Speech Rate: Slow
3. Physical Cues: Few hand gestures, usually stands close
4. Predicates: Gripping, feel, rough, soft, hard…
5. Other Cues: Deeper voice, takes longer pauses

Ad: Auditory Digital

This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if your program “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational systems. Auditory Digital’s place a high value on logic and also like detail. They use words, which are abstract with no direct sensory link. They use predicates like, “I understand your motivation” or “makes sense to me”. As their emotions are often attached to the words that they are using to describe, they often are less emotionally attached to outcomes (double dissociation).

1. Breathing: Sometimes lower abdomen
2. Speech Rate: Sometimes slow
3. Physical Cues: Reserved
4. Predicates: Sensible, understand, calculate, analyse…
5. Other Cues: Often not emotionally attached to outcomes

Enjoy and Have fun with this information.

Much Love 

Living Your Power Now 

Michael Sorgiovanni